A very short update on my this thing called LIFE

1. My hair is still wet, therefore it is not a good time for me to go to bed now. I'm a person who tries my best to avoid using the hairdryer, if you wonder.

2. I hate to take my bath. (PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME) Seriously. It is so annoyingly time-consuming. It took my rational mind a very long time to battle of the reluctance of my legs to walk me into the bathroom just now, hence the wet hair.

3. This morning I woke up at 6:18am and when I walked to my table shortly after that, I saw that my table was still scattered with AddMath materials. I also saw that the table next to my table was piled with AddMath materials. The Physics materials were remained untouched.

4. Today I sat for all three of the Physics papers and felt awesome because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Note that this event and the above event both happen on the very same day.

5. I am trying to finish this post as fast as possible because I want to watch How I Met Your Mother on Starworld which is going to start in like ten minutes.

6. I had a temperature of 37.6 degree Celcius yesterday hence the inability to do anything efficiently at all, e.g. study. This is in no way an excuse or what because believe me, I would have given anything at all to exchange my current temperature with yesterday's.

7. I also suffered from a bad fever on Sunday but recovered on Tuesday. Then it came back yesterday while I was doing my AddMath paper zzz (I could literally feel it though I know this is abnormal) .

8. I watched this anime about Beatrice the Golden Witch for a few days, little bit from here and little bit from there until my inconsiderate sisters finish the whole series without me. There ends my excuse to procrastinate.

9. I was just joking. My sisters aren't inconsiderate, in fact they are the opposite of it. They knew that I needed to do something other than studying to prevent the fatal, disgusting explosion of my brain. But they were too shy to show their concern. Therefore what they did was they began watching this awesome anime while it was around dinner time where I would show up downstairs any minute then and would be attracted by the TV.

10. Yeah I think I am starting to talk nonsense again. By the way it is 11:46 right now. Blogging suddenly feels more awesome than watching How I Met Your Mother. But I know that that is not true.

11. Before I began writing this post I was actually playing Chess Titans with the computer because the line was so dead and I was so deadly bored. Of course I lost.

12. Averagely, I play AT LEAST 10 minutes of Fruit Ninja everyday (minus yesterday, refer to no.6). So next time when I play Fruit Ninja, I shall be reminded about the wonderful SPM days I have once been through.

13. I started to have a really deep, but bad feeling for food. This especially includes McDonald's. Good thing or bad thing?

14. I WANT TO WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. But. Lazy. To. Walk.

15. I realize I blog more often now (during major exam) than before (when exam seems far away).

16. I thought that today was Slapsgiving Day. But when I checked out this awesome website created by Marshall Ericksen, ( http://www.slapscountdown.org/ ), I found out that it was actually yesterday. In America at least. Happy Slapsgiving.

17. Another thing I do everyday, other than playing Fruit Ninja, is wasting my time on iwastesomuchtime.com. Even my sisters cannot stand me.

18. God has showered much, way to much blessings upon me. Thank You.

19. There's a small packet of Famous Amos cookie lying on the table next to me waiting for me to be fallen into its trap but I just refuse to. Like I said, food doesn't amuse me that much now.

20. Three more subjects to go. Three more! Three!!

21. THREE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF BOOKS AND PAGES AND SENTENCES AND WORDS AND LETTERS IS THAT OR NOT.

22. I am not studying now not because I think I deserve to rest, because my brain hasn't recover to its normal efficiency level. And here, by normal, you know what I mean la. I lost to the computer in a chess game for goodness' sake.

23. Enough of writing here. After all, this is just a very short update.

24. Still loading... 70% complete.

As of 21st November, 2011

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50% COMPLETE

I ignored a total of nine chapters in this subject called Sejarah.

True story.

I have only studied 3 chapters from the Form 4 syllabus and I have never laid even an eye on both chapters 7 and 8 of the Form 5 syllabus. My 'buang malas' attempt, apparently, did not turn out very well. And I am penning this down for the sake of memory. It's not like you get to sit for SPM every day right.

But today, I was able to overcome all the questions - because my God is an awesome God. He gave me peace. He reassured me. He made me want to give my best. I'm not saying that I have promised myself good results, and I do not know what outcome to expect either but right now, I'll just let Him do the rest.

So if you happen to know that you are a future candidate of this examination, start studying this crucial subject right now. Do not wait. Just put behind all temporary satisfaction (e.g. FACEBOOK, sleeping, doing nothing) because what matters is the permanent certificate which symbolises how much you have achieved in your short, short life. So start studying for SPM today. If you are able to do so, one day, you will find yourself very much in love with yourself  for doing so, I hereby promise.

I still have papers to sit for tomorrow and I am here telling you, again, that God is awesome. Adios.

You miss me.

But sometimes, in life, what's got to go, got to go. I'm sure you'll do fine without me, as how I am doing now without you. Please stop creeping into my mind and whisper about the good times we had together. I had made it utterly clear about how we're gonna work this out. I do not know where are we heading either, but at this point, only time can tell. So please understand and leave me alone. Just... leave me alone, Facebook.

There. Finally.

Dear Jess Minn,

I have been wanting to write this letter to you for way too long. I apologize for the delay of this important message to you. I have been very. very busy cutting people up and closing them up - awesomely. I sincerely hope that it is still not too late for me to present you this little bit of speech.

As you know, what I am today is because of what you are doing now and what you are about to do. I want to thank you, abundantly, for making me what I am today. However, in this letter, it is not all about me conveying my appreciation to you, but rather, this is somewhat a gentle reminder of how you are suppose to live for the next 28 days.

As you know, in exactly 7, everything begins - and ends shortly after that. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let your mind wander around during this whole, by far, most important phase of your life. DO NOT think about December 5th or the days after that. It will be an extremely wrong thing to do. Be reminded that you will have a whole six months to decide what to do or even plan your future after everything ends - there is no point in rushing. So please, I beg you, PLEASE DO NOT LIVE FOR THE 5TH OF DECEMBER. Live for what's before it, not after it. I couldn't emphasize more on this.

Also, during this phase of life, forget about the unnecessary things. Forget them completely. They will not remember you anyway, so how hard can it be to forget the things that does not even pay attention to you? Facebook has millions of people to take care of. So does Twitter. The TV will not stop airing awesome shows that you will get to watch - after everything ends. The piano will not run away; it cannot even control its own wheels. The internet won't vanish just because you don't use it. So please, Jess Minn, please, let them go. Just let them go. At this age you ought to act rationally and practically, so please do not disappoint anyone at all, especially me.

More importantly, give all you can, make the best out of yourself. You have been living for 16 years, 2 months and 17 days for this most important phase of life, don't waste even a single second of it. Make use of time. You may think that there isn't plenty left, but I tell you, you will surely be surprised of what you are capable to do in that 'little time left'. When you start to feel sleepy, look to your wall of inspiration. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME, tell yourself that. When you start to feel like you cannot absorb anything any more, go downstairs and get something from the fridge. At this point of life, sleep is not essential any more. I know you think that your organs despise you to the maximum point, but just trust me, I will deal with them. Right now, what you have to do is just two things: study, and not to forget what you have studied.

Most importantly, be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. Remember that God is always there to support you. You don't need a bed to rest; it's only Him you need. After all, everything you are about to do, everything you are about to achieve in this important phase of life, is all for Him, all about Him, all because of Him. So stand firm, and just bear with everything.

I hope you keep this important message(s) in your heart and your mind throughout these phase of life. I have much, much more to write, but I have another surgery to conduct very soon. Yes, this is me - what all your hard work had earned. All glory to God!

P.S.: Banana is good; it helps in learning.

Yours sincerely,

Future Jess Minn

TUWIMDASL

-dary. 

It is going to be legendary. Oh yes, times after what every fibre of my being have worked for, fought for, sacrificed for and unconsciously, lived for all these years - the uninvited SPM examination. I swear the moment I walk out of the examination hall on the 5th of December at 4:31p.m. MYT I will start living my life to the fullest... Just kidding. Anyhow, I am going to make the days after my exam memorable, exciting, adventurous and enjoyable (all of which are the opposite of now) by doing much (uncountable) of the things I just could not do as a full-time student/SPM candidate. Therefore, in remembrance of what I have chose to let go of for the sake of this exam, and also as a check-list of how I shall be appreciated (by myself, ha ha) for embarking this labourious journey, I hereby present you: -

The Ultimate What I Must Do After SPM List
1. Sleep. No, really.
2. Eat well. 1200 calories per day. But how.
3. Hang out/eat in McD the wonderland.
4. Date my loved ones! I've been resisting this since... I better not say.
5. Buy myself some pretty things for no apparent reason.
6. Watch all seasons of How I Met Your Mother.
7. Watch all seasons of Desperate Housewives.
8. Rewatch all seasons of Gossip Girl and continue from where I have stopped.
9. Rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds and continue from where I have stopped.
10. REWATCH GREY'S ANATOMY OVER AND OVER.
11. Rewatch Bloody Monday.
12. Watch all seasons of Death Note the anime.
13. Take lots and lots of photos.
14. Get a job. I need to earn money to spend. Bwahaha.
15. Learn how to cook and bake... for the 102258th time.
16. Create a Tumblr account.
17. Beautify my blog. It deserves good treatment after my exam.
18. Update my blog every single day if possible. 10 years from now I may be reading the posts of the next few months and I definitely want myself to remember how happy those times were. Hah.
19. Outings outings outings. Shopping, eating, jungle-trekking, camping, fishing kite-flying etc. With whomever as long as they are as crazy as I shall be.
20. Play The Sims 3. I HAVE WAITED FOR FAR TOO LONG.
21. Read constantly. Sidney Sheldon's, Oscar Wilde's, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's... Oh yeah. J.K. Rowling's. Never allowed myself to finish her books. Why? EXAMS LA.
22. Quit my job and get another one. To gain more experience.
23. Go on a vacation. Wherever. But if I do this it means that I must stop everything else in this list for quite some time. Hmm.
24. Rot in KL for a week. One of the musts. 
25. Take lots and lots more of photos.
26. Get myself a driving licencee. Oh how could I forget.
27. Play some games which I have always told myself I'm too busy to. DDT maybe? HAHAHA.
28. Learn 10258 new songs on the piano.
29. Do something to my hair. But I'm definitely NOT dyeing it.
30. Exercise daily. What's gotta go, gotta go.
31. Change my profile picture. My current one was used since January. Hah.
32. Read the newspaper daily. Get to know things.
33. Rewatch all Harry Potter movies. This was what I did after UPSR. Only there were not as many.
34. Solve the 1000-piece puzzle which I intended to solve right after PMR. Yeah my time management is beyond  description. I know right.
35. Bake a cake - successfully - with my classmates.
36. Do 200 sit-ups daily. For real.
37. Clone myself with of course, the help of awesome Jan.
38. Climb a tree. Because my teacher said so.
39. Teach Wallie how to 'roll over' and 'play dead'. Which is probably going to take forever but well the girl deserves undivided attention once SPM is over. I mean once what's after SPM is over. Don't worry, I'll get her a new toy.
40. Upload the photos which I have always failed to for various reasons (300 units at least, 6 albums AT LEAST) to Facebook.
35. ( - Will update this list from time to time)

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I could choose to forget about everything above and stick to Italy. Brilliant.

I waste so much time

You know the post I've been talking about since weeks ago?

Yeah coming soon.

Life status: scattered everywhere.

Prologue: This will be a rather....unorganized post. I shall throw in every fact of life which my much neglected blog has missed out from time to time. I am also going to mention that this will be a short post as I cannot afford to lose any more time. I apologize with no responsibility and much regret for the randomness.

This post is short because I insist that it mustn't be long.

Not too long ago, I tortured myself every single (schooling, haha) night just to cramp what seemed like knowledge into my minuscule brain. And my most awesome God granted me with not a single B (as stated in black and white) for my trial exam, which is indeed, very generous of Him. All glory to God.

I did not score an A+ for my Add Math by the way.

That night I was brought back to some vague images still stuck in my head when we played 'hide and seek' during the weekly MYF. If this game sounds unfamiliar to you, it is actually a game where a person closes their eyes and start counting until a certain number while the rest of the group find a good place to hide. The aim of the game is to seek all of those who have hidden themselves. And we played it in the church sanctuary. I was seventeen-year-old during then.

I personally think that we do not need Facebook to survive. It did not even existed until four years back then. Did we suffer for not having a Facebook account back then? No. Did we die of not checking our notifications daily? No. Was Facebook even a big part of our social life? No. No, no, no. And yet look at what we have become today. Even teachers check their Facebook in their staff room. Therefore it is confirmed. Facebook created our needs. Our 'wants' have slowly and silently transformed into our 'needs'. Look at what the world does to us these days.

Lunch was good today.

Beware when you choose to believe Somebody. Somebody may seem so sweet and sincere that you are totally blinded by what Somebody seems like. The truth may shock you. So always trust your instincts. They say never trust Somebody completely. I am still pondering on that. But what I am sure about is that we must always trust God to the fullest. No doubt on that.

I don't know what happened to me. This feels like by far the lousiest post I have produced with my very fingers. Which makes me hesitate whether to publish it or not. If I do, then people will judge and see me as a retard for what I have written. Human nature. If I do not, then it means I have wasted thousands of seconds for nothing. Then again, if I do, I may probably lose respect due to the nonsense I have written.

Two or three years ago my posts never contained any trace of nonsense and stupidity at all. True story.

Well, what's done, is done.


Epilogue: Next up will be the post which I have pined to write for more than too long. I mean it this time. It is going to be legen-

wait for it

Yes, I am...

Good at nothing.

Good with nothing.

Good for nothing.

Bah.

I had a dream.

Perhaps it was only just a dream.

After completing  my task as a secondary school student here, I would leave my very much happy, colourful, yet childish life for good. I would leave my home as well. I would pack only my important belongings, hop on to a taxi and send myself to the airport. I would take as many flights as I must to get to a beautiful place... Most probably Italy. Yes, a vacation. I would explore everything good in life over there, all alone. Even though that means backing out from everything better here, in Malaysia, I would still go on with what I started because I know I have to give myself some time, some space which I think I deserve. There, I would get the peace, the tranquillity and the serendipity I never had. I would walk to places with the sceneries often featured in movies, snap beautiful pictures, and I would sit on a bench in a park, reading words in an alien language. I would hold Vericilla - my brand new iPod in my hand, and a bi-language dictionary on the other, learning to sound like nothing I have ever sounded like. I would see how people live, I would eat various kinds of food, I would enjoy the fresh breaths of a new hope there. Leaving everything I have built up here all these while, I would be a stranger to everyone and everything there, and everyone and everything there would be a stranger to me, even myself in both ways. That would be the best time for myself to really know who I am, what I want, and what should my life be all about, for I would be the only thing that matters to myself. I would not keep in contact with anyone or anything at all from the place I backed out from. No Facebook, no Twitter, not even Skype. All the time I have would go to myself. Pardon me if I do sound somewhat selfish, but maybe, just maybe, this is what I need in order to build myself a strong mind with maturity, to find my own identity, to be the person I have always wanted myself to be. It wouldn't take long anyway, a few weeks will do, I promise. Until then, I shall vanish from this poorly-led life I am experiencing now. But if I do not return, that would mean I loved myself better with nobody else to share my life with, which, obviously, strongly infringes my principle of living a happy life.

If only dreams were meant to come true.

Excuses.

I uh... I have a stomach which is very upset. So I lied to myself that I needed to rest instead of doing any other form of good to myself for my future's sake. And I ,as expected, was stupid enough to be deceived by my own self. Four pathetic hours of my life gone with the wind as the fan spun without fail.

Stupid.