Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective; a lot of hope is dangerous.
(The Hunger Games, 2012)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
TableTalk
Share a happy thing: Daddy fetched me to college today!
But who would have thought that my dad, who took the day off just to fetch my mum here for some unfinished business, would actually comply with me when I mentioned about this newly opened restaurant (a few times, non-stop maybe) yesterday!
So yeah, we had breakfast at TableTalk this morning. It's kind of too bad that our schedules couldn't meet for lunch. Nonetheless breakfast was good. It was so filling I had to postpone lunch, a good piece of pizza, til 5 o'clock. And I was just eating it for the sake of getting rid of it from my bag- I wasn't even hungry. A very true story.
The environment was beautiful. The tilings, the wallpapers, the furniture, the bar - it was just such a lovely place to be at. We were sitting in the middle section of the restaurant (which is generally divided into three parts) and I didn't dare to walk around taking pictures and all... So here's a glimpse of what the interior looks like:
As usual, it took me very long to decide what to it but in the end I went with the Big Brekkie:
... Which wasn't as big as I thought it would be. Apparently, most of their sauces are homemade from scratch - no preservatives added. They try to make their food as healthy as possible. Good job on the poached eggs by the way.
A really, really good cheese omelette .
Homemade waffles! It was really good. Sauce was homemade and has just the right tinge of sweetness.
Eggs Benedict. I forgot to try this.
That's all for the food porn. One day when I feel mega rich I would have my breakfast, lunch, tea and extremely light dinner here, TableTalk TTDI. One day.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Just Today?
Today I feel like dashing towards a wall and bang my head against it and evaporate into thin air again.
Today I had a free burger from McDonald's.
Today I braided part of my hair.
Today I am alive, and I am thankful for that.
Yesterday I checked my Neopet in to a cheapskate hotel.
Life is okay.
Today I had a free burger from McDonald's.
Today I braided part of my hair.
Today I am alive, and I am thankful for that.
Yesterday I checked my Neopet in to a cheapskate hotel.
Life is okay.
Stand
Wow. I love opinionated people. People who have their own stand, and are not afraid to show it.
I know I am no where close to that. In fact, if you are one of those poor souls that have no choice but to interact with me on daily basis, you would find that there is one very big, annoying, blatant problem with this being: I can never decide. Honestly. It annoys me to bits as well, but I could not help it. I can never decide what I want, or how I feel, or how things should be done. And this is just wrong.
I am 18 now and I shouldn't be like this. There has always been this fear in me that I would not grow and develop anymore. That I would be stuck with this anonymous personality for life. One that is always confused, blur, and can never decide.
Hollow.
I would rather say that I feel hollow than empty. There's me, this physical figure, walking around doing pointless stuffs everyday. There's a heart, a liver, a stomach, nerves and muscles that supports this physical figure ever since it exists. But then there's also this brain which coordinates every action, every step it takes. And that's basically all it does. It feels, oh yes it does, but there's no... stand in it. There's nothing to support this person. The body supports the human, but there's just nothing, nothing at all, to support, to define this very person.
I don't think. I don't analyze. I don't understand. And I don't know why. Sometimes I do all that, and then in the end it would be pointless. Always. Because that's just how far it goes. I don't take actions and I won't know what to do. And then I would annoy myself and everyone around me for that stupid trait of mine.
I was just reading my younger sister's blog. She was angry about people's attitude, and I could feel it. She did not hide what she felt, and she showed it by deciding not to, what they call, help. And I am impressed, because she knows that it was, for her, the right thing to do, and she did it. And so I tried to put myself in her shoes. Some fellow juniors who need a little, troublesome favour, because they forgot something. Which just shows how irresponsible they were.
And I really want to laugh at myself for what I would do if I were the one in such situation instead. I would, of course, feel bad for them for forgetting simple basic things. But angry? I am angry at many things in life, but this? I think I would feel sorry for them and jump out of the bed right away and rush to the spot for them. Or maybe I would feel very, very angry, but I would hide it, and proceed to do whatever I can to help them. Which is oh so wrong, because I am suppose to order them to do things, not the other way round.
I have failed very much in my role of being a leader, and that would be one of the biggest regret I have about high school.
Maybe it is because I am too scared to show what I feel. I cannot be myself. I have a little idea of myself, but I don't quite know which is the real me. Heck, I don't even know if there is a real me. I act differently around different people. At home I would yell at my sisters, in class I would speak out so stupidly, in college I'm as mute as a dumb and I do not participate in conversations, with certain people I would be what I thought was myself - until things went wrong and I lost that part of myself, with certain groups of friends I would have things to say but I'm as mute as a dumb as well because I fear that something stupid might come out, and I fear being judged. I fear what people (who don't even care) think about me, which is so stupid, right? Layer upon layer of fear surfaced the core of my supposed-to-be being, and then this is what happens.
I don't even know what's the point of writing this. Here's a stand for you.
I know I am no where close to that. In fact, if you are one of those poor souls that have no choice but to interact with me on daily basis, you would find that there is one very big, annoying, blatant problem with this being: I can never decide. Honestly. It annoys me to bits as well, but I could not help it. I can never decide what I want, or how I feel, or how things should be done. And this is just wrong.
I am 18 now and I shouldn't be like this. There has always been this fear in me that I would not grow and develop anymore. That I would be stuck with this anonymous personality for life. One that is always confused, blur, and can never decide.
Hollow.
I would rather say that I feel hollow than empty. There's me, this physical figure, walking around doing pointless stuffs everyday. There's a heart, a liver, a stomach, nerves and muscles that supports this physical figure ever since it exists. But then there's also this brain which coordinates every action, every step it takes. And that's basically all it does. It feels, oh yes it does, but there's no... stand in it. There's nothing to support this person. The body supports the human, but there's just nothing, nothing at all, to support, to define this very person.
I don't think. I don't analyze. I don't understand. And I don't know why. Sometimes I do all that, and then in the end it would be pointless. Always. Because that's just how far it goes. I don't take actions and I won't know what to do. And then I would annoy myself and everyone around me for that stupid trait of mine.
I was just reading my younger sister's blog. She was angry about people's attitude, and I could feel it. She did not hide what she felt, and she showed it by deciding not to, what they call, help. And I am impressed, because she knows that it was, for her, the right thing to do, and she did it. And so I tried to put myself in her shoes. Some fellow juniors who need a little, troublesome favour, because they forgot something. Which just shows how irresponsible they were.
And I really want to laugh at myself for what I would do if I were the one in such situation instead. I would, of course, feel bad for them for forgetting simple basic things. But angry? I am angry at many things in life, but this? I think I would feel sorry for them and jump out of the bed right away and rush to the spot for them. Or maybe I would feel very, very angry, but I would hide it, and proceed to do whatever I can to help them. Which is oh so wrong, because I am suppose to order them to do things, not the other way round.
I have failed very much in my role of being a leader, and that would be one of the biggest regret I have about high school.
Maybe it is because I am too scared to show what I feel. I cannot be myself. I have a little idea of myself, but I don't quite know which is the real me. Heck, I don't even know if there is a real me. I act differently around different people. At home I would yell at my sisters, in class I would speak out so stupidly, in college I'm as mute as a dumb and I do not participate in conversations, with certain people I would be what I thought was myself - until things went wrong and I lost that part of myself, with certain groups of friends I would have things to say but I'm as mute as a dumb as well because I fear that something stupid might come out, and I fear being judged. I fear what people (who don't even care) think about me, which is so stupid, right? Layer upon layer of fear surfaced the core of my supposed-to-be being, and then this is what happens.
That's the theory I propose. And I really have to do something about it.
I don't even know what's the point of writing this. Here's a stand for you.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Kind of.
Back to Tuesday. Really, time?
Today was rather productive. Oh, Happy Deepavali to all, if it still isn't too late to wish. :)
I was assigned the opening shift today, which explains how my day even get its chance to be productive. You see, a shift typically lasts for 8 hours, and the opening shift starts at 7AM (my store opens at 7:30AM). In a way, I am forced to make my day productive by starting it right - getting up early. The lesser I sleep, the more things I get to accomplish. This is the very reason why I love doing opening shifts the most. After work, I would still have more than half of the day to myself, to do many other (useless) things I usually do.
Only, that was not the case today. (Nevertheless my day continues to be productive.)
Because there was a Deepavali promotion, which I had absolutely no knowledge about until a customer asked about it this morning. Apparently, it was publicized in Starbucks Malaysia's Facebook page and The Sun newspaper, which I had not the luck to stumble upon either one yesterday.
The deal was so good it was almost unbelievable. Between 12-2pm this afternoon, anyone, at all, regardless of their age, race, gender, religion, nationality, was entitled to claim TWO COMPLIMENTARY Grande-sized Frappuccino blended beverage, with the choice of either Red Bean Green Tea or Caramel Tea Jelly, or both, by just walking into the store, get their receipts, get in line, and simply, wait for it. For two solid hours I had to stand at the cash register without being able to even contribute in making those drinks. Which was a good thing, anyway, because I had never enjoyed making Frappuccino blended beverages. And the cold beverage station was a huge mess, with everyone constantly moving about performing their magic in making those 300+ drinks actually happen, so I am thankful for my position. The two hours of continuous business (or, not) had left us much to do after that, so I had to extend my working hours. Which was also a good thing, because today is a public holiday, and Labour Law exists.
I got home around 6 and swam. I swam, and swam, and swam, until it was a bit too dark for such activity. And I felt so good I was actually, for the first time in weeks, happy about my own decisions and actions.
And then after my bath and dinner, I began my attempt in editing an essay which I have completed yesterday. I ended up changing almost 90% of the essay, and by the end of my almost brand new essay, I really felt good about it. I do not know why, and I am well aware that it is stupid for me to do so, but I seem to have put in particularly much effort on this one. After spending a total of almost 5 hours on a supposedly 300-word essay (ha...ha...ha...), I submitted my essay to the e-forum (another college nonsense I have to bear with), and boy I wish I were able to grade myself. Well, kind of.
On another note, I got my new Sharpie today.
I feel kind of good.
I was assigned the opening shift today, which explains how my day even get its chance to be productive. You see, a shift typically lasts for 8 hours, and the opening shift starts at 7AM (my store opens at 7:30AM). In a way, I am forced to make my day productive by starting it right - getting up early. The lesser I sleep, the more things I get to accomplish. This is the very reason why I love doing opening shifts the most. After work, I would still have more than half of the day to myself, to do many other (useless) things I usually do.
Only, that was not the case today. (Nevertheless my day continues to be productive.)
Because there was a Deepavali promotion, which I had absolutely no knowledge about until a customer asked about it this morning. Apparently, it was publicized in Starbucks Malaysia's Facebook page and The Sun newspaper, which I had not the luck to stumble upon either one yesterday.
The deal was so good it was almost unbelievable. Between 12-2pm this afternoon, anyone, at all, regardless of their age, race, gender, religion, nationality, was entitled to claim TWO COMPLIMENTARY Grande-sized Frappuccino blended beverage, with the choice of either Red Bean Green Tea or Caramel Tea Jelly, or both, by just walking into the store, get their receipts, get in line, and simply, wait for it. For two solid hours I had to stand at the cash register without being able to even contribute in making those drinks. Which was a good thing, anyway, because I had never enjoyed making Frappuccino blended beverages. And the cold beverage station was a huge mess, with everyone constantly moving about performing their magic in making those 300+ drinks actually happen, so I am thankful for my position. The two hours of continuous business (or, not) had left us much to do after that, so I had to extend my working hours. Which was also a good thing, because today is a public holiday, and Labour Law exists.
I got home around 6 and swam. I swam, and swam, and swam, until it was a bit too dark for such activity. And I felt so good I was actually, for the first time in weeks, happy about my own decisions and actions.
And then after my bath and dinner, I began my attempt in editing an essay which I have completed yesterday. I ended up changing almost 90% of the essay, and by the end of my almost brand new essay, I really felt good about it. I do not know why, and I am well aware that it is stupid for me to do so, but I seem to have put in particularly much effort on this one. After spending a total of almost 5 hours on a supposedly 300-word essay (ha...ha...ha...), I submitted my essay to the e-forum (another college nonsense I have to bear with), and boy I wish I were able to grade myself. Well, kind of.
On another note, I got my new Sharpie today.
I feel kind of good.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Star Wars Marathon?
It's Tuesday again. I adore Tuesdays the way I adore exercising. I do. It does not happen very often, it does not feel good at all when it is happening, but once it's over, I shall be rewarded - in terms of burned fats - or so I believe. I adore Tuesdays, too, because once I have got through my day in college, Wednesday comes. Wednesday, the only weekday with no college bullshits. No ridiculously ice-cold environment, no frustration over idiotic computers (I almost swore publicly on Twitter... almost), no remorse in life.If you must know, I did plan to keep this blog actively posted. But then there was an electricity shut down in the area I stay on Sunday and the internet had been dead ever since. I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna survive tonight, though. Yesterday night was tough. I could not decide whether to watch the final movie of Harry Potter or to study. And then I ended up using so much time deciding this and doing other useless stuffs it was time to sleep.
The day before, which was the day the internet started slipping off my life, wasn't so bad. It was good in fact. Due to the power shut down, many stores and restaurants were closed on that Sunday, including Starbucks. Everything in the chillers, primarily the milk, had to be moved out, and then back in. It was really a good experience despite the trouble it gave us. Things like this do not happen often, so I thought that this was really worth a shot:
...until I realized it did not look like I was helping out at all. Bah.
Approximately an hour after this shot I went for Skyfall with the awesome baristas.
Anyway, I got to know about this very interesting event happening soon. It's a Star Wars Charity Movie Marathon, where people would get to watch all 6 movies BACK-TO-BACK, on a big screen! It's happening this coming Saturday night (10th November, 2012) from 11pm til 2pm the next day, at Cathay Cineplex @ eCurve. How. Cool. Is. That. I'm ashamed to confess that I have never once watched Star Wars, and this seems such a great opportunity for me to catch up with life!
But the mother disapproves. :(
Read more about it at Star Wars Malaysia Official Fan Club, the event page, or maybe just Google it, because I'm just so lazy to copy and paste the details here.
Barney would be so disappointed in me.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Error: Too long to tweet
Back from my third place and after writing this I'm gonna pack my bag for college tomorrow because I would most likely get up late tomorrow because I'm gonna watch Cassino Royale after I brush my teeth and all soon because I'm gonna watch the third movie soon (hopefully) because I just feel like it because it's been a while since I know a great day is waiting ahead of me because I have never actually planned to make a day great (most probably) because I've forgotten that I can make things happen.
I do not make sense.
I do not make sense.
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