Be okay with it

This little voice in my head has been very vulgar lately.

Many of the sentences I wanted to express were actually rephrased when published. For example, taken from my previous post,

'One other crucial evident that supports her theory involves causing damage to something very precious to her - she dyed her hair.'

was supposed to be

'One other crucial evident that supports her theory involves causing damage to something very precious to her - she _______ dyed her hair.'

and, taken from my Twitter,

actually meant

No _______ time to lose. No _______ coffee to keep me awake. I'm ______ for sure.

Yeah.

I don't know why is it so hard to believe in the good of everything, to give them a benefit of the doubt, while on the other hand negative thoughts would just implant themselves naturally and effortlessly in my head. I know I have told myself to start being positive and to look at the good side of things, but last week was yet another week where the saying 'easier said than done' smacks into my face. Hard.

Have you ever actually experienced a day where you wake up and look into the mirror and look at everything else and just feel plain awful, reluctant to live through the rest of the day? That pretty much describes my last Wednesday. I had college, and I was to stay back after for some discussions regarding my group assignment, and I knew by the time I get home I would have already lose the energy and part of the time to study. It was just another time-wasting, dreadful day for me. Even lunch was unexciting. The constant monologues in my head were extra aggressive that day in debating all sorts of issues, and all these thoughts actually consumed me and pulled down my mood.

I didn't understand why things happen (I still don't). I didn't want things to be this way. But at the end of the day, what more could I have done to fix things? Would thinking so intensely, so negatively about it make things better? I was about to nap when this little on-going voice in my head, for once, said something helpful.: be okay with it. Accept things as how they are, and live with it. Be okay with it. Be okay with the colour of the sky. Be okay with yourself. Be okay with how people have changed. Accept the way people and everything else treats you. Live with what's going on. Just, be okay with it. No regrets, no complains, nothing.

I may or may not know you, but if you are reading this, my hope for you is that whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation, tell yourself to be okay with it. If you cannot, try to. Keep telling yourself to be okay with it. You feel like eating an ice-cream but there's no ice-cream booth around? Be okay with it. You lost your favoutire many-year-old eraser? Be okay with it. Your computer mysteriously disposed off your assignment which you spent an eternity working on? Be okay with it. Try to be okay with it. Things has already happened and there is no way to undo them. Learn to accept things. Live with things. Find a way to go forward. Remember, it's always better to be okay with things rather than being angry, or sad, or disappointed about them.

It has been two hours since I got back from work and I have yet to complete anything of importance, particularly packing for my long-awaited departure for home tomorrow. I hope my mother is okay with it. I hereby end my post with a quote by the incredible Mr. Incredible:

I still have time.