Monday Morning Madness

11:14AM. At last, I drag my heavy self out of bed, after countless attempts of denying reality - an act very clearly represented by the red multifunctioned snooze button. This pair of feet is taking forever to reach the bathroom. Reluctant, I brush my teeth and walk into the shower. Now the most annoying part. I do not know what to wear, again. When will I ever know what to wear? I proceed with my boring Monday routine by making a sandwich out of duty rather than hunger. Hunger does not motivate me the way an expiry date does. In fact, nothing in this world motivates me more than an expiry date does. And sandwiches are very convenient. I could live with sandwiches for the rest of my life, ah, yes I could. There is no need to learn to cook. I do just fine with sandwiches. Here's to yet another meaningless Monday.


11:14AM. I gather all the courage I possess and brave myself to face this world, yet again, for another day. Stretttttttcccching is the first thing I do, for it activates all these vital organs needed to make today count. I brush my teeth full with enthusiasm, twice, and get into the shower. After one full minute of staring into the closet, I come to the decision that perhaps I would figure out something later. Brunch is the best part of the day, oh, it will always be. Despite my lousy cooking skills, I carefully and patiently fry some eggs and make a sandwich out of it. One of these days, I will be an excellent cook. Here's to embracing all the possibilities in the future, here's to making every day count.


11:14AM. Flunk, I screamed in my head, with a silent 'L' and 'N', and quickly jumped out of bed. Forget about stretching, forget about living healthy. I am going to die someday anyway. I carelessly brush through my teeth and stomp right into the shower. I hate taking my shower. I hate how taking my shower acknowledges my presence in this world today, I hate how it means that I officially agree to wake up and get things done. What's the point of showering anyway? It's a never-ending, time-consuming, useless process. And it comes with the part where I have to decide on what to wear for the day. Great. Do I look like I like to decide things? Gosh, I hate taking shower so much. Then there's lunch I need to think about. Oh, how convenient that a loaf of soon-to-expire bread is laying on the table. Or else I would have let myself starve to death. What's the point of eating anyway? Please, I would rather sleep. Well here's to wasting my entire day, or you know, wasting my entire life, taking showers and all.


11:14AM. I have lived to see this beautiful world for yet another day. Oh thank You, Lord. Life is beautiful. Everything is beautiful. I hop out of bed with an overwhelming amount of excitement, embracing what this world has to offer me today. Looking at my sweet little green toothbrush makes me happy and thankful for this life. It also makes me want to brush my teeth forever, but I know that that cannot happen, for there is so much more form of happiness to experience in life. For instance, taking my shower. Oh, such joy! Begone, all the bacteria! Begone, all my pains and sorrows! It's a brand new day, a brand new start, a brand new me! I open my closet, and I am spoilt for choice. All these gorgeous, happy colours happening here, oh, how am I to pick only one? I am truly blessed. And then I get to eat. Ah, eating, the art of staying alive. I do my best in making use of all I have in the kitchen, and behold, a magnificent egg sandwich appears. At this moment, nothing feels better than being able to put up one gorgeous, delicious sandwich. Here's to everything beautiful in life, and more to come.


11:14AM. Good gracious, half a morning wasted. Why is this happening again. How do I redeem myself. Great, just great. I brush my teeth and take my shower hurriedly, in hope of adding more ticks to my imaginary day clock. Done. My day has begun. I am ready for this day, I am ready for this day. Quick, just grab a piece. But which piece do I grab? This makes me look fat. This makes me look short. JUST SIMPLY PUT SOMETHING ON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Right. Something to fill my stomach. I miss my regular oats and Koko Krunch combo. But there is a loaf of bread and some eggs in the kitchen, a combination not easy to come by. Well, an egg sandwich it is. It requires little effort yet it satisfies my desire for good food. Simple. Just please don't fail on the egg. How difficult can frying an egg be? Come on. A rather generous amount of butter, a very low flame. Yes, Jess Minn, you're a genius. Here's to waking up earlier next Monday.