Four full weeks into the Circuit Breaker (ˈsəːkɪt ˈbreɪkə - noun; a fancy term for lockdown) and I am still lovin' it. (Sigh.) In the month of April I had been out for grocery for a grand total of three times, and was only deemed essential by society/government for four days. What laundry? The last time I was out of the country was in March. In fact, I have been staying put for close to two months now. That is also the approximate length of time the hairdryer has been left unused. Not having to set an alarm anymore, my waking hours range from 11am to 5pm. I estimate the mean to be 3:55pm. (The median is 4pm, the mode is 4:30pm.) What little is left of the sunlight I use to talk to my book. True story.
As it is with human nature, we only know we want something after it(s accessibility) is taken away from us. For whatever (/exactly that) reason, I had this unwavering craving for kimchi almost immediately following the confiscation of my freedom to move about. And might I add, kimchi falls under the category of 'scare commodity' in this climate. It wasn't without failure, but we (SO and I. He lives with me now. No story.) managed to acquire some after a few attempts. Our cooking (Yes. That is an activity I partake in now. No story.) revolves heavily around kimchi, because not only it keeps us sane, it also compensates our lacking in skill and instantly upgrades our dish from one spectrum to the other on a edible-nonedible scale.
The next thing I craved for was cake. More specifically, New York Cheesecake. Also chocolate cake. And everything from Souka. While I haven't been able to fulfil my soul's desire for a good cheesecake (Tokyo Restaurant, Secret Recipe maybe, Cheesecake Factory - all inaccessible by foot) I had managed to get a small, decent chocolate cake off a bakery nearby during one of our grocery run. The very day before cakes officially fall into the same category as kimchi. And for that I am eternally grateful to myself. If you must know, this was the week where I woke up one Sunday morning to find out that McDonald's had frozen their operations here. In SO's exact words,' Dear, I have bad news'. I haven't really made a big deal out of it (, yet,) because I know it will only amplify the pain. So I don't think about it. I think about and give thanks to my chocolate cake which I had been indulging in sparingly. I ate the last of it two days ago.
Last week though, I started craving to - wait for it - create. Ha. I don't know how long has it been sitting there, but there's this faint, nudging desire in what may or may not be my soul to... make up things from scratch. Maybe it's the universe telling me to find solace in something that isn't there yet. Something that isn't already there, something that cannot be taken away from me. So I went ahead and create. Create pictures. Create drawings. Create accounts. Create arrangements of words. (I hereby attribute my presence back here to such craving.) And I am liking it so far. I'd like to think that I am giving back a tiny, meagre shred of myself to the world, a world drowned with all forms of art and creations. A world where I'm surrounded by others' creations every single day. It's insignificant, but, it's something. I guess. Creating is a long, arduous process for me though - I need things (that I truly care about) to be perfect, or in their best form. But, for lack of a better choice, I will keep doing it for now. I don't know how long will this urge last for, or how much more time of mine will be filled with creating, but I'd like to continue for now.
I have twelve hours a day to fill up, after all.
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