Back to December

Share a happy thing: Aunt bought KoKo Krunch! The item that has topped my craving list for a few weeks now.

Cliche, but look at how fast time travels. How far have we all come. From the last December, back to December. Has it really been one whole year since I have last worn my blue uniform? Has it really been a year since I walked out from my closest alternative to home? Has it been twelve months since my sister last got angry at me for causing the both of us to be late to school?

Oh, December. The month with the highest potential to win the Best Month of the Year Award, because the past eleven months has all been pretty shitty. Honest. Elaborating on that statement would most probably induce pain and imaginary tears hence I refuse to. You would know if you know me well.

I love you Jou Jin. Thank you for being here.

So December will be good. After my final exams, which marks the end of my third semester in college, I will have a little time to escape from what I wish I could leave behind. Or what I wish I could love. I am trying so hard to fit in, but I guess it's not just up to me? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel like bothering even, because I have got so used to doing things alone. Walking to the water dispenser to get my bottle of water refilled every two hours. Sitting in the computer laboratory minding my own business. These are the things that I simply cannot find a way to not do alone. So I'm fine with it. I'm actually okay with doing things alone. Why not? In fact it has come to my attention that I may actually like to be left alone. It spares me so much time, problems and sometimes, pain. Don't get me wrong though; I do love people. I love people who loves people but sometimes it's just so hard to do so especially when you are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now you must be thinking that I would someday be one of those sad old women who die alone. Which I am actually starting to fear that that might be the case. But let's not get too far.

During this little bit of time off, I will also be able to get back to work in that happy place surrounded by happy people. Which makes me really happy. But the main reason I look forward to December would be the shopping to be done. Shopping, or even window-shopping  is one of those few rare occasions where I can feel good about myself. And this time I will be doing it with my sisters! It's been a routine for us to do our shopping, here in KL every end of the year. No exception. The thought of it excites me. Paying some money in exchange for things that make you feel better about yourself. Pretty things. Dresses. Shoes. Food. I hate the existence of money.

And then there's the time where I get to be home, or more precisely, to rot at home. Sleeping like a pig, playing The Sims 24/7, and even playing with a sleeping pig. I get to laze and be myself, I get to annoy my sisters and parents, I get to eat dinner cooked by my dad, I even get to play the piano.

And before we all know it, it's the end of the month, or year - again.