Parasitism

Things were turning upside-down.
Things did turn upside-down.
And things are still turning upside-down...

Everyone warned me about you.
Everyone told me not to get so close with you.
Everyone told me to stay away from you.
As far as possible...
They said that I’d regret.
They said that that’s a wrong choice.
For how many times I heard that,
I just didn’t understand.
Why would someone say such thing?
Why would they describe you as that kind of person?
I believe you.
Believed.
Don’t listen to them.
Those should be fake.
I felt weird when I heard that for my first time.
And for the second,
And the third time...

Things do change.

I’m not sure who or what’s the one that did.
I realized things, finally.
That was months ago.
But I didn’t dare to accept or even to believe that.
‘Cause I really believe you.
You are a good friend.
Don’t listen to the craps those people told me.
Those are just craps and craps and CRAPS.
I didn’t wanna believe what I realized my own self.
‘Cause you’re really my good friend,
And most likely,
You won’t do such thing.
You're not that kind of person.

But the thing I disliked and loved as well showed everything...
Yes, time shows.
It showed.
Those are facts.
What I saw are facts.
What I realized are facts.
And I’ll say it out now...
What those people told me,
Are facts too.
Those people were correct.
I’m wrong.
I was wrong.
Now I feel silly that I didn’t listen to them.
Thanks for the warnings and advices.
I’m sorry that I didn’t take those.

This is real sad.
And real hard.
Yea,
I still believed you after those warnings.
I actually did ignore those warnings.
Think...
WHY?
And again because I think that you’re my friend..
A good one...

But I had it enough.
I can’t hold this any longer.
After everything you did to me,
Over and over again,
After those self-comforting thoughts,
After those months of sorrows,
After those months of pain,
I accepted, finally.
I accepted facts.
You are.
And I decide to let it all out.
RIGHT NOW.
If you read this,
And if you know that I’m talking about you,
Don’t ask me, please, I beg you.
You know yourself deep down in your heart.
Even if you ask me right now,
The answer will still be “no it’s not you”.
To me it’s real hard to lie,
But I’d still tell one if I had to.
For the first and hopefully the last time,
I’d lie.
I’d close my eyes.
I’d close my ears.
I don’t see anything...
I don’t hear anything...
You should know,
I’m really exhausted.

This is my mistake.
I chose the wrong way.
I thank You Lord, that finally I'm posting this.
That finally I'm letting all out.
I'll leave.