Faith. Hope. Love.

30 DAYS CHALLENGE.

2012-02-03T14:33:00.000+08:00

Long ago when SPM was the only thing my life was revolving around, I got bored of studying and stepped out of the study room, only to see that the lovely computer was already turned on, and so I touched it. One of the most satisfying moments during that time, even though it did not last long. Being bored after some clicks in iwastesomuchtime and weheartit, I began to look for this 30 days challenge thing after I have first seen it in Tumblr. Or Weheartit. I forgot.

Long ago (seems long) when I was dismissed from the most pointless class ever - Malaysian Studies class, I found out that the shuttle van to the main campus will not be available until 2:30pm. That ruined all the plans I had for today. So I'm stuck here with nothing to do. After short visit to 9gag and a sad log in failure to Neopets (I told you I had NOTHING to do, please do not judge me), writing is the only thing that could save me from this boring state of immobility. (Earphones needed to watch videos. Bah.)

So yes... I decided to accept this 30-day-challenge right here, right now. Whether I'm going to respond every living day or every blogging day, I don't know, only time will tell. Here is the full set of topics:

Day 01 – 30 things about you.

Day 02 – Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Day 05 - Details on your current relationship status.

Day 06 - Your ideal date.

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

Day 10 - Your favorite song and why.

Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

Day 15 - Your favorite photo of yourself and why.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Day 18 - A photo of you in the last item of clothing you bought.

Day 19 - A photo of your favorite possesion.

Day 20 - Your biggest fear.

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past two years?

Day 23 - Give five pictures of guys/girls who are famous and you find attractive.

Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.

Day 25 - Ten things you hate.

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.

Day 27 - A problem that you have had.

Day 28 - A letter to someone you love.

Day 29 - Goals for the next thirty days.

Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

DAY 1: 30 things about you.

Okay here I go.

Edited on 10th February, 2012, at 1:08PM, because I am going to cook dinner tonight. (Let's all pray that it's going to be edible. I'm not asking much.)

1. I do not what holds in the future. Nobody knows where they might end up, nobody knows. But I do know that God will always be there with me, for me.
2. 2010 was the best year of my life.
3. I have never watched Lion King nor Star Wars in my entire life. True story. Would definitely love to if I have the chance. Don't tell me to watch online though. It's a long, tiring, hateful process.
4. I love to own pretty things eg. clothes, dresses, shoes, necklaces, and the list goes on. But I hate to spend money in order to own them.
5. I also hate to relate the fact that everyone has a birthday to the event above.
6. I don't really care about who Ted's wife is going to be; I don't mind if they reveal that the mother died/there was no mother and the kids were actually adopted. I just want to watch the story of the group of friends.
7. I sometimes immitate Ted Mosbey saying 'kids' at the beginning of the episode. It makes me feel awesome when our voices merge as one.
8. Charmander was and still is my favourite Pokemon. If only he doens't grow up and rebel.
9. Wearing heels makes me feel good, but my back hurts as soon as I walk in them.
10. In my opinion, pumps are fabulous but way too steep.
11. I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
12. I am aware that all things around me right now are temporary; I am not going to heaven with them. But I always fail to tell myself that when I am about to spend a huge amount of money on something completely unncessary. What is, anyway?
12. I usually think a lot before I say something I have in mind. I also care a lot about my appearance. You'll never have a second chance to make a first impression.
13. I wish I have learned some kind of sports when I was younger and excel in it.
14. When I am sick, time slows down, my mind shuts down and it tells me that I deserve every sympathy every human being could ever give. (Except for the time I got sick during SPM.)
15. When I am sad, I am sad and I remain sad until I finally stop being sad.
16. It's been long since I've ever experience the scary moment when something terrible happens and I and wish that Ctrl+Z works in real life. You know, like breaking the mercury thermometer or something.
17. I drink at least 5 litres of water per day. I think everyone knows that.
18. I love my family and love being around them. But I am not good at expressing all these. I feel that it's a part that I can skip. Like, it's fine, as long as I know it.
19. I admire people who can write very well. I really do.
20. I hate sweating. Sweating really kills my mood. I cannot stress this any more. I sweat way faster and easier compared to others and I think it's because of the amout of water intake I practice daily.
21. I love natural, wavy, smooth hair. The reason I feel that I must have straight hair is because straight hair are often, or at least they look smooth, hence it looks neat, and it's easy to handle. I prefer having wavy or long hair with a bit of curl to plain, boring straight hair but I think I cannot manage such hair. Yes, I take the easy way.
22. I don't socialize well. I don't mix around well. I love having friends, but making a new one always seems difficult to me. Sometimes I get so lazy to move even a tiny inch of muscle I rather sit/stand alone and stare at things, having these loud thoughts playing in my mind without needing to hear them physically. I enjoy such peace and tranquility.
23. I'm the worst of myself when it comes to making a decision, be it major or minor. Deciding what to eat may be one of the most time-consuming process for me while others get fed me.
24. Split ends are the one thing I wish that has never ever happened to me. It's despicable, annoying, distracting, ugly, and saddening. I really don't need such thing attached to me all the time. I have better things to care for but gahhh.
25. I adore people who can sing well. A Capella songs are heavenly by the way.
26. TVXQ (namely YoonHo, ChangMin, JaeJoong, Yoochun, JunSoo) has played a huge part in my life, but that part is over now. They brought me much joy, much motivation those days. There's more I want to say about this but I'll do it some other time. I really miss those boys sometimes.
27. If given a choice between pure gold and white gold, I would definitely choose white gold. Pure gold looks good only when.... well I can't think of any time when it looks good.
28. I love dogs. The only time I hate them is when they attack my dog. Other than that, they're all lovable. But the one thing I hate about having dogs is the part where we part. Pun not intended.
29. I love, and I enjoy photography, music, culinary art, and I have a thing for these computering...stuffs. And also cutting up people, of course. But I am not good at any of them. And I still doubt whether passion can be career.
30. I chose to take accountancy not because I love it, but it's because I know that's what I am best at. If I do not feel that way when I'm doing something, there's a massive 83% of chance that I might end up doing it wrong, of which causes are made up of 10% of lack of skill and 90% of lack of confidence/very, very low self-esteem. I want to cut people up and save lives, yes, I really do, but I don't want to only know how to cut them up and being not able to figure out what the next step is suppose to be.

There, 30 or maybe more things about me. This challenge is tiring.

Coming up next - DAY 2 task: Where you'd like to be in ten years.

Just a Monday.

2012-01-31T01:21:00.001+08:00

This, my friend, is an entry definitely worth your time reading, because I am going to tell you a true story. And yours truly plays the protagonist. Then again, this, my friend, is an entry you definitely would not want to waste your time reading, because I am going to tell you a true story. And yours truly plays the protagonist. And also antagonists do not exist in this story.

Your choice. (Spoiler alert: This story is short. It is also not worth your time reading.)

So back to ~~school~~ college today (that sounds so not right). I had only a class today, praise God for I have finally learned something new. It's a small thing, but it's new. And new things are good, most of the time. Anyway, after my class which ended at 2pm, I took the shuttle van back to the main campus. Then I did what I have craved to ever since last night.

I walked down to the bus stop just opposite the campus, and I sat down, waiting for a bus to come. Okay fine I was actually waiting for 'the' bus to come but every time a bus came to sight I would desperately WANT that bus to be 'the' bus. That's not the way you wait for a thing, right? Or is it? I'm confused. So they say that 'the' bus comes every half an hour. After almost two hours of waiting at the bus stop, alone, (and yes like an idiot,) and several phone calls in between, I finally accepted the fact that I was stupid for waiting for two hours, because something must be wrong if 'the' bus NEVER even stopped somewhere visible to me for once. Shortly after that I decided to stop being stupid (but failed anyway).

One of the phone calls lead me to walk across the bus stop - I was told that I have waited at the wrong place. Upon hearing that, the blood in my body stopped circulated for two seconds as they have all been pumped up to and gathered at my vocal cords to perform this incredible shout:

Okay that part may be fictional. Your choice.

So yeah, I walked across the road and waited at um, how do I put this. It is very unfortunate for me to tell you that there is no more decent way to describe what I did next. I, well, stupidly waited for the bus at the wrong place, AGAIN. Since this is a short story, I am going to skip the part about how I finally destupidized myself. For the full story, well, there really is nothing you can do.

The stupidity of mine ended when I have finally stepped into the ground floor of One Utama, or so I thought. Walking around all alone in a mall which you are familiar with ONLY when your sister is with you, is like eating without having food. Yes, it was awful. It took me much effort to get out of Jusco after I have entered the lower ground floor of it with no intention to do so. All I wanted was to claim my personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut (which is located at LG), which validity expires tomorrow. After I have successfully exited that place, I went to look for the directory.. Yes I was that pathetic. And still am. After getting the disappointing piece of news from Uniqlo, where people unofficially 18 cannot work at, I reached Pizza Hut in one piece. And of course it took quite some time for me to achieve so. Below is a picture of my own illustration of being forever alone.

I want a part-time job. Badly, I can say. My classes are all very short, that makes my day pretty empty. And I don't have to really spend a lot of time to study yet because I'm just repeating what I have learned, for now. That makes me really, very free. I need something to do other than facing various screens for long hours everyday. Also I need to fulfill my TUWIMDASL. Money is the added bonus. The reason why I want to work at Uniqlo so much is that the workers there are very warm and friendly. That's how I felt as a customer, at least. I don't wanna work with not warm and not friendly people. -_- Uniqlo oh Uniqlo, Y U no give me a job...

The ending of this story is different than how it was supposed to be. My plan was actually to take a bus back to my aunt's house, but she came and fetch me instead. I was too tired of walking I guess. Wait no, I was too tired of waiting. GAH. I thank God that at least I have achieved and learned new things that I have never before today. Today is the day I finally took a public transport alone, and also the day I got out of this huge mall from the right exit without my sister as my tour guide HAHAHA.

Fun fact: I am already 18 (half true) and I chose writing a stupid story over doing something very important haha haha haha somebody shoot me please.

I could really use a piano right now.

BAH.

2012-01-19T10:29:00.002+08:00

Hi.

It is ten in the morning and my eyelids are as heavy as my whole body hahahaha what am I talking about. Class starts at 12pm and I'm currently in the DJ campus, where EVERYTHING happens here. (My course is not offered here, so I'm studying in the PJ campus, where, sadly, nothing happens there) Aunt sent me here at 9am and I have two choices to make: I either go rot in the library, or rot in the ICT lab, which, obviously is what I have chosen to do. But here's another problem: I have nothing to do with the computer.

Hence logging in to Blogger and writing a bunch of crap. After my daily dose of 9gag, which happned, say an hour ago, I have no purpose in this place anymore. Plus this place is so cold I can very easily fall asleep. Which is bad if it happens because I have a shutter van to catch at 11+ to transport myself to the other campus. If only teleporting happens in real life.

10:20am.

I still cannot deide whether to leave this freezing place and have my brunch/lunch now (I have classes for five hours straight hahaha God bless my soul) in this AWESOME canteen here or just wait for a little while more to have my lunch. You see, if I finish my meal to soon, I will have absolutely nothing to do after that. Who would want to climb back the labourious climb of 3 floors just to feel extremely cold in the ICT lab, or even drag themselevs up to the 4th floor to experience freaky total silence in the library? Not me at least. So if I choose to eat my lunch too soon, what happnes after may be me reading Macbeth (had nothing to do on my first trip to the library -> borrowed Macbeth) alone, and basically just falling asleep while reading it.

Which is why I am keeping this unintentive post longer than it is supposed to be. But, if I had my lunch too late, I won't be able to catch the van, which reaches here at... I don't know what time.

So I'll just write a short paragraph about this place?

Library - awesome. ICT lab - awesome. Canteen - awesome. By the way this place is the total opposite of ther other campus... So yeah that's my life.

Got to go.

P.S. Can't believe I'm using IE.

Oeyyy!

2012-01-16T00:51:00.002+08:00

I miss your dumb face.

Oh hai there.

2012-01-15T00:44:00.000+08:00

Le me and dinner. Like a retard.

Dinner was bad by the way.

So here's the list of what I have achieved this week, starting from Monday:
1. Ended the shortest break I ever had since I was seven, officially.
2. Survived orientations of all kinds.
3. Answered the same two questions over and over i.e. 'How's college today?' and 'Made any new friends?'. Bah.
4. Walked around.
5. Watched the (incomplete) latest season of Grey's Anatomy. THIS, I call achievement.
6. Watched the (incomplete) latest season of How I Met Your Mother. THIS, too, I call achievement.
7. Which means I had my eyes fixed on the TV/computer screen for no lesser than 100 hours this week... I think.
8. Stalked humans from all over the world.
9. Uh, updated my blog?
10. Hated Vanessa Hudgens. You'll find out why.

And here's the list of what I did not achieved this week, starting from Monday:
~~1. Sleep. No, really.~~
2. Eat well. 1200 calories per day. But how.
3. Hang out/eat in McD the wonderland.
4. Date my loved ones! I've been resisting this since... I better not say.
5. Buy myself some pretty things for no apparent reason.
6. Watch all seasons of How I Met Your Mother.
7. Watch all seasons of Desperate Housewives.
8. Rewatch all seasons of Gossip Girl and continue from where I have stopped.
9. Rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds and continue from where I have stopped.
10. REWATCH GREY'S ANATOMY OVER AND OVER.
11. Rewatch Bloody Monday.
12. Watch all seasons of Death Note the anime.
13. Take lots and lots of photos.
14. Get a job. I need to earn money to spend. Bwahaha.
15. Learn how to cook and bake... for the 102258th time.
16. Create a Tumblr account.
17. Beautify my blog. It deserves good treatment after my exam.
18. Update my blog every single day if possible. 10 years from now I may be reading the posts of the next few months and I definitely want myself to remember how happy those times were. Hah.
19. Outings outings outings. Shopping, eating, jungle-trekking, camping, fishing kite-flying etc. With whomever as long as they are as crazy as I shall be.
20. Play The Sims 3. I HAVE WAITED FOR FAR TOO LONG.
21. Read constantly. Sidney Sheldon's, Oscar Wilde's, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's... Oh yeah. J.K. Rowling's. Never allowed myself to finish her books. Why? EXAMS LA.
22. Quit my job and get another one. To gain more experience.
23. Go on a vacation. Wherever. But if I do this it means that I must stop everything else in this list for quite some time. Hmm.
~~24. Rot in KL for a week. One of the musts.~~
25. Take lots and lots more of photos.
26. Get myself a driving licencee. Oh how could I forget.
27. Play some games which I have always told myself I'm too busy to. DDT maybe? HAHAHA.
28. Learn 10258 new songs on the piano.
29. Do something to my hair. But I'm definitely NOT dyeing it.
30. Exercise daily. What's gotta go, gotta go.
~~31. Change my profile picture. My current one was used since January. Hah.~~
32. Read the newspaper daily. Get to know things.
33. Rewatch all Harry Potter movies. This was what I did after UPSR. Only there were not as many.
34. Solve the 1000-piece puzzle which I intended to solve right after PMR. Yeah my time management is beyond description. I know right.
35. Bake a cake - successfully - with my classmates.
36. Do 200 sit-ups daily. For real.
37. Clone myself with of course, the help of awesome Jan.
38. Climb a tree. Because my teacher said so.
39. Teach Wallie how to 'roll over' and 'play dead'. Which is probably going to take forever but well the girl deserves undivided attention once SPM is over. I mean once what's after SPM is over. Don't worry, I'll get her a new toy.
40. Upload the photos which I have always failed to for various reasons (300 units at least, 6 albums AT LEAST) to Facebook.

Now here's the list of what I must achieve next week:
1. Watch the latest episodes of Grey's Anatomy and How I Met Your Mother. What else?
2. Study. (Must be prepared for the upcoming exam exam exam exam exam. )

Life is that unfair. But oh well, the best is yet to come. Always keep the faith.

Orientations.

2012-01-10T23:43:00.002+08:00

You know you hate them.

The beginning... And the end.

2012-01-06T16:33:00.000+08:00

Warning: I think this is gonna be a very long post. I just think so.

Time is running out. Allow me to clarify that this statement has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my brain decides to blog only after midnight - I can do anything at any time I want now, but well, read on and you'll know what I'm talking about. After abandoning my blog (which I update the most during times when I am not supposed to - the most) for quite some time, I can say it deserves some explanation/more crappy writings from me, at least.

As I have written, I felt completely empty once I'm done with my SPM examination. So empty I almost forgot what life is all about. And this still applies to me right now. Four weeks ago I woke up with nothing to play on the computer, nothing to watch on the TV, and I couldn't even drive. This ~~morning~~ afternoon I woke up at 1, played the Sims, watched How I Met Your Mother (I LOVE YOU ALISSON WONG), and still cannot drive. So yeah I'm more or less the same as how I was a month ago.

Well thankfully, for you, with the existence of several events during this very miserable period of my life, in this post, you won't just read about my never ending rants and complains. SPOILER ALERT: there will be pictures, too!

I cannot believe that I just spent an hour on this. But evidence says it all.

Event #1: Trip to Genting Highland with classmates

We've been talking about this ever since our trial exam in September. Had it not been for Jamie, this trip would not have happened at all. Our accommodation was totally free of charge, a very generous offer from Jamie's mother who somehow got free stays at the Awana Ria Apartment. 15 of in a two-room apartment... Created much memories. Unfortunately there were bad and really stupid ones too but thank God it did not affect much. Based on the above calender, yes, we actually departed from Kuantan on Wednesday night at 11pm, and yes, we reached there at 2 in the morning - with not a place to stay and not a thing to do. Among the activities we forced ourselves to do (WE HAVE NO PLACE TO SLEEP YO) were eating at 3am, taking pictures almost everywhere, exploring places floors above floors and then finally, we decided to rest outside one random bowling outlet, like this

The first morning was loooooooooooooooooooooooong, but the following days were so short they just passed by like that. All in all it was really a memorable trip - it was the last time we did something together as not only classmates, but also very, very good friends. So good that I feel this trip deserves a post entirely about itself. We'll see if I have the time. This trip, for me, ended with multiple group photos but here's the best one I think...

Event #2: Shopping - like a boss - in KL

I sincerely hope that I will repent. I was really out of my mind when it comes to this walking-non-stop-but-doesn't-qualify-to-be-categorized-as-an-exercise activity called shopping. This sense of guilt is eating me up as I write about this. Goodness. Such a shame. I.. I just... I cannot explain. I have very clearly told myself not to overspend... But I.. I.. Oh this is so so sooooooooooo sad. It's like... It's like getting drunk. Yeah. Whenever I made a purchase it certainly did not go through my brain. Just like the things people do when they are drunk, you know. And only after the whole wild night of fun and fake awesomeness... They wake up feeling sick, so sick that they hated themselves for what they did the night before. I'm just in the same situation. After 5 long days of shopping (that's how long I was drunk for) I finally sat down, and started to think, rationally. It's like something overtook my mind whenever I made any UNNECESSARY but very pretty purchase... Oh why. Why couldn't I take control of myself. WHYYYYYY. I'm so broke now. And I couldn't earn by getting a job any more because well.. Read on. Sigh. Here's how I looked like when I was drunk with the obsession for pretty things:

Event #3: HUGE Camp at Port Dickson

After all these years of YLDP, I finally decided to try something new. It was, indeed, very different from the camps I have attended for the past few years. One very clear examples I could name was the schedule. Back then in YLDP, we our schedule was so packed I did not even have the time to refill the water in my bottle. True story. I had to do whatever I had to in a rush. Whereas in HUGE, we had an average of 6 hours break.. And that did not even include our sleeping time. So yeah it's something new and different. But of course one thing remains the same - the purpose of these camps. For every camp I have attended God was definitely there, and His message was of course well delivered by the speakers. Yes, everything went so well, everyone was once again restored and refreshed, but do we all continue to live like that once a camp is over? That's the real challenge.
I could not bear the awesomeness of sunlight..

And by THIS, I meant -

This. It still remains incomplete. I HATE YOU THE SIMS.

So there. The subtopics for this post. Pretty much says everything about my past December - how I ended by far the longest chapter in my life story. December began with something so, I don't know, scary? But eventually the scariest of all will end, and sure enough it did. To be honest, I was so blinded by the whole SPM thing that I did not even realize the very few days we have left to live as a For 5 student until the very last of them. I'm not sure if I had appreciated what I had, I wish I did. There won't be any chance we'll dressing up like this -

- and do crazy things only kids would do, because the truth be told, time moves on - and people do, too. Sad, but true. Things change, people change. They won't be the same any more. And I definitely do not like the idea of 'change', because I fear that things would not go the way I want them to be. I fear that things would go bad, I fear that 'change' and I would not get along. But changes are inevitable. I cannot remain 17 forever, I have to look forward and move on, because life keeps going on - and I cannot do anything about that. The future is something we all can never see thus we cannot know for sure what to expect, and that's what makes it scary, but I cannot just stick to the past just because I'm familiar with it. Too much of words in a paragraph what seemed pointless?

I'm moving on. I'll be starting college (hate how that sounded) this coming Monday. And that's not the worst part.. Wait til you read that I'll be taking Accounting instead of Science/Medicine/Anything That Allows Me To Cut Up People. Yeah. How awesome would this world be had I not fill in the scholarship form, right? Yeah. But the decision is already made. Because I know I had to. Not everyone was blessed by straight A's (couldn't stress more that it was only in black and white) in their trial exam... But I was. Not everyone who applied for the scholarship was blessed by 100% tuition fee waiver... But I was. So yeah. I love free things. I also love to stop practising the art of wasting time. Furthermore I love to say that sometimes, we have to do what we have to, even though it isn't what we want to. While all my very beloved humans have 3 months of free time before the SPM results are out, I will be stu-wait for it.. dying. Away from home. Far from loved ones. Not getting a job and earn some money. Awesome isn't it? Unlike most of the humans I know, I would very much prefer to stay in Kuantan even for the next two years for form 6. I;m just not ready to leave yet but I know, you don;t have time to get ready for things. Sometimes you just have to do it. When a car is approaching at a very high velocity, you just do it. You don't get ready to avoid. You do what you have to. And this is exactly what I am doing. I'm leaving my comfort zone. I'm looking forward to new things. This is change. And I'm hoping, so badly, that it will be a good one.

On the other hand there is still one thing that remains the same, which is my full-time job as a procrastinator. :) WHY CAN'T I JUST CHANGE THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO WHY MUST THINGS ALWAYS GO AGAINST THE WAY I WANT THEM TO. Yeah I'm leaving on Monday and I still haven't pack a single thing. What's there to pack anyway? Clothings, footwear, toiletries, pencil case, bible, a note book, what else?

And that's how the new chapter of my life story begins. The end.

Meanwhile, in front of the computer...

2012-01-02T00:28:00.001+08:00

What to pack.

I lost my mind.

2011-12-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

And my heart in the middle of nowhere.

And my passion for food.

And my hunger for adventure.

And also my excitement for this long-term holiday which does not exists at all.

All because I lost one thing - my mind.

Right now, it may seem that all that matters to me is getting some twister fries for lunch and burning many many holes in my pocket and Barney Stinson and planning my future but it's not like that. In fact, I do not even know what I just wrote. I am somewhat a little confused and a lot confused hence this confusing post? Meh. Will update when I am going to. I don't know.

I really don't know.

Happiness, Y U load so slow?

2011-12-06T22:01:00.001+08:00

This is so saddening. My happiness is making me sad. The irony of life.

I have so much time to waste that wasting my time at iwastesomuchtime.com isn't enough to waste all of my time any more, because the time there is for me to waste is, way beyond much, true story. Man this is killing me. It's only the second day of experiencing this long-craved-freedom and I feel dead inside already. I feel like... I'm born to waste my time. I know you're going to ask me to shut up and stop acting this way and go like c'mon you just finished your SPM just relax and enjoy your life bla bla bla bla bla blahh. If you are really going to say that, save it, shut up and just give me an enjoyable thing to enjoy.

Went to the mall today and felt awesome for a while and now back to offline mode. I can die if I continue living like this.

Maybe it's time to dig up the text books to be returned tomorrow. Or it could also be time to pack for tomorrow night. I cannot decide. Watching videos online sucks. Bye.

Back.

2011-12-05T23:22:00.001+08:00

Where do I begin.

To my surprise I don't actually anticipate the days ahead of me. Well, not any more at least. You know, like I've been climbing Mount Everest for three and a half weeks or so just to reach the peak of the mountain - and then climb all the way back down again. How exciting and adventuress it seemed during the first few steps you set foot on that mountain, but halfway through your journey, very unfortunately, you lost them all. Drenched with endless exhaustion, labourious effort, and all sorts of discouraging factors, the ray of light gets thinner and thinner, and you slowly forget what's the climb about. Yeah that's pretty much how I feel right now.

Needless to say, I have already reached the peak of my mountain. I'm already there - the figurative top of my world, and I have overcame the necessities. I should feel happy and I should taste freedom right now. But I don't. Did I lose myself during the climb, I couldn't tell. All I can do now is just to hope that I am the kind of person who needs something to dose me up to get me activated, because right now, really, all I feel is emptiness.

Emptiness.

It's like my soul left my body. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong though. I am certainly not that kind of person who loves studying to the bottom of my heart, in fact I find studying one of the most boring things one could ever do. Every time I open the text book and try to understand and even memorize that single sentence and paragraph, my brain - whom amazingly never stopped functioning ever since I was born, miraculously stops functioning. So studying could be like, someone (book) talking (transferring important information) to a deaf person (brain when malfunction). Pointless. Tedious. As stupid as ever. True story.

I remember those days when December 5th meant the world to me. The anticipation for its arrival and the things I have prepared myself to do when it happens (refer to TUWIMDASL a few entries ago). Well what I feel right now is almost exactly the opposite. Maybe because a) I'm too tired to celebrate, b) I don't want to tidy up my books-scattered-everywhere study room, c) I don't know where I'm moving forward to, d) Loneliness kills, or e) Emptiness empties.

Or it could be all of the above. I don't know. I really don't know. You tell me.

So yeah, it is happening, but so what? Now that I have gone back to my 'normal' life, there really isn't much to do, is there? I mean what was I doing all these while before the exam? I eat, I sleep, I watch TV, I waste time. And now what am I going to do after exam? Exactly. I eat, I sleep, I watch TV, I waste time. And now I wonder why did December 5th seemed so great in the first place. After all, it is still life, that I'm living, and this cycle might just never end. You aim for your goal, you work for it, the only chance for you to prove your hard work comes (along with pressure, more hard work, sleepless nights, nervousness, fear, hope, prayers), the day where your hard work is proven comes. And then the whole cycle just repeats itself, again and again.

Since I'm already at the peak, I think I'm just gonna linger around here for a while and hope that I won't freeze to death while doing things I've never once attempt before, like starting a fire. Yeah. That's it. Maybe I should start doing something I've never done before. Like, you know, shave my hair or something. Okay that's ridiculous. I'm just gonna end this post and start building a house for my Sims. Whatever.

A very short update on my this thing called LIFE

2011-11-24T23:18:00.001+08:00

1. My hair is still wet, therefore it is not a good time for me to go to bed now. I'm a person who tries my best to avoid using the hairdryer, if you wonder.

2. I hate to take my bath. (PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME) Seriously. It is so annoyingly time-consuming. It took my rational mind a very long time to battle of the reluctance of my legs to walk me into the bathroom just now, hence the wet hair.

3. This morning I woke up at 6:18am and when I walked to my table shortly after that, I saw that my table was still scattered with AddMath materials. I also saw that the table next to my table was piled with AddMath materials. The Physics materials were remained untouched.

4. Today I sat for all three of the Physics papers and felt awesome because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Note that this event and the above event both happen on the very same day.

5. I am trying to finish this post as fast as possible because I want to watch How I Met Your Mother on Starworld which is going to start in like ten minutes.

6. I had a temperature of 37.6 degree Celcius yesterday hence the inability to anything efficiently at all, e.g. study. This is in no way an excuse or what because believe me, I would have given anything at all to exchange my current temperature with yesterday's.

7. I also suffered from a bad fever on Sunday but recovered on Tuesday. Then it came back yesterday while I was doing my AddMath paper zzz (I could literally feel it though I know this is abnormal) .

8. I watched this anime about Beatrice the Golden Witch for a few days, little bit from here and little bit from there until my inconsiderate sisters finish the whole series without me. There ends my excuse to procrastinate.

9. I was just joking. My sisters aren't inconsiderate, in fact they are the opposite of it. They knew that I needed to do something other than studying to prevent the fatal, disgusting explosion of my brain. But they were too shy to show their concern. Therefore what they did was they began watching this awesome anime while it was around dinner time where I would show up downstairs any minute then and would be attracted by the TV.

10. Yeah I think I am starting to talk nonsense again. By the way it is 11:46 right now. Blogging suddenly feels more awesome than watching How I Met Your Mother. But I know that that is not true.

11. Before I began writing this post I was actually playing Chess Titans with the computer because the line was so dead and I was so deadly bored. Of course I lost.

12. Averagely, I play AT LEAST 10 minutes of Fruit Ninja everyday (minus yesterday, refer to no.6). So next time when I play Fruit Ninja, I shall be reminded about the wonderful SPM days I have once been through.

13. I started to have a really deep, but bad feeling for food. This especially includes McDonald's. Good thing or bad thing?

14. I WANT TO WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. But. Lazy. To. Walk.

15. I realize I blog more often now (during major exam) than before (when exam seems far away).

16. I thought that today was Slapsgiving Day. But when I checked out this awesome website created by Marshall Ericksen, ( www.slapscountdown.org ), I found out that it was actually yesterday. In America at least. Happy Slapsgiving.

17. Another thing I do everyday, other than playing Fruit Ninja, is wasting my time on iwastesomuchtime.com. Even my sisters cannot stand me.

18. God has showered much, way to much blessings upon me. Thank You.

19. There's a small packet of Famous Amos cookie lying on the table next to me waiting for me to be fallen into its trap but I just refuse to. Like I said, food doesn't amuse me that much now.

20. Three more subjects to go. Three more! Three!!

21. THREE. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF BOOKS AND PAGES AND SENTENCES AND WORDS AND LETTERS IS THAT OR NOT.

22. I am not studying now not because I think I deserve to rest, but because my brain hasn't recover to its normal efficiency level. And here, by normal, you know what I mean la. I lost to the computer in a chess game for goodness' sake.

23. Enough of writing here. After all, this is just a very short update.

24. Still loading... 70% complete.

As of 21st November, 2011

2011-11-21T20:24:00.001+08:00

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50% COMPLETE

I ignored a total of nine chapters in this subject called Sejarah.

2011-11-16T19:47:00.001+08:00

True story.

I have only studied 3 chapters from the Form 4 syllabus and I have never laid even an eye on both chapters 7 and 8 of the Form 5 syllabus. My 'buang malas' attempt, apparently, did not turn out very well. And I am penning this down for the sake of memory. It's not like you get to sit for SPM every day right.

But today, I was able to overcome all the questions - because my God is an awesome God. He gave me peace. He reassured me. He made me want to give my best. I'm not saying that I have promised myself good results, and I do not know what outcome to expect either but right now, I'll just let Him do the rest.

So if you happen to know that you are a future candidate of this examination, start studying this crucial subject right now. Do not wait. Just put behind all temporary satisfaction (e.g. FACEBOOK, sleeping, doing nothing) because what matters is the permanent certificate which symbolises how much you have achieved in your short, short life. So start studying for SPM today. If you are able to do so, one day, you will find yourself very much in love with yourself for doing so, I hereby promise.

I still have papers to sit for tomorrow and I am here telling you, again, that God is awesome. Adios.

You miss me.

2011-11-12T19:59:00.001+08:00

But sometimes, in life, what's got to go, got to go. I'm sure you'll do fine without me, as how I am doing now without you. Please stop creeping into my mind and whisper about the good times we had together. I had made it utterly clear about how we're gonna work this out. I do not know where are we heading either, but at this point, only time can tell. So please understand and leave me alone. Just... leave me alone, Facebook.

There. Finally.

2011-11-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Jess Minn,

I have been wanting to write this letter to you for way too long. I apologize for the delay of this important message to you. I have been very. very busy cutting people up and closing them up - awesomely. I sincerely hope that it is still not too late for me to present you this little bit of speech.

As you know, what I am today is because of what you are doing now and what you are about to do. I want to thank you, abundantly, for making me what I am today. However, in this letter, it is not all about me conveying my appreciation to you, but rather, this is somewhat a gentle reminder of how you are suppose to live for the next 28 days.

As you know, in exactly 7, everything begins - and ends shortly after that. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let your mind wander around during this whole, by far, most important phase of your life. DO NOT think about December 5th or the days after that. It will be an extremely wrong thing to do. Be reminded that you will have a whole six months to decide what to do or even plan your future after everything ends - there is no point in rushing. So please, I beg you, PLEASE DO NOT LIVE FOR THE 5TH OF DECEMBER. Live for what's before it, not after it. I couldn't emphasize more on this.

Also, during this phase of life, forget about the unnecessary things. Forget them completely. They will not remember you anyway, so how hard can it be to forget the things that does not even pay attention to you? Facebook has millions of people to take care of. So does Twitter. The TV will not stop airing awesome shows that you will get to watch - after everything ends. The piano will not run away; it cannot even control its own wheels. The internet won't vanish just because you don't use it. So please, Jess Minn, please, let them go. Just let them go. At this age you ought to act rationally and practically, so please do not disappoint anyone at all, especially me.

More importantly, give all you can, make the best out of yourself. You have been living for 16 years, 2 months and 17 days for this most important phase of life, don't waste even a single second of it. Make use of time. You may think that there isn't plenty left, but I tell you, you will surely be surprised of what you are capable to do in that 'little time left'. When you start to feel sleepy, look to your wall of inspiration. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME, tell yourself that. When you start to feel like you cannot absorb anything any more, go downstairs and get something from the fridge. At this point of life, sleep is not essential any more. I know you think that your organs despise you to the maximum point, but just trust me, I will deal with them. Right now, what you have to do is just two things: study, and not to forget what you have studied.

Most importantly, be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. Remember that God is always there to support you. You don't need a bed to rest; it's only Him you need. After all, everything you are about to do, everything you are about to achieve in this important phase of life, is all for Him, all about Him, all because of Him. So stand firm, and just bear with everything.

I hope you keep this important message(s) in your heart and your mind throughout these phase of life. I have much, much more to write, but I have another surgery to conduct very soon. Yes, this is me - what all your hard work had earned. All glory to God!

P.S.: Banana is good; it helps in learning.

Yours sincerely,

Future Jess Minn

TUWIMDASL

2011-10-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

-dary.

It is going to be legendary. Oh yes, times after what every fibre of my being have worked for, fought for, sacrificed for and unconsciously, lived for all these years - the uninvited SPM examination. I swear the moment I walk out of the examination hall on the 5th of December at 4:31p.m. MYT I will start living my life to the fullest... Just kidding. Anyhow, I am going to make the days after my exam memorable, exciting, adventurous and enjoyable (all of which are the opposite of now) by doing much (uncountable) of the things I just could not do as a full-time student/SPM candidate. Therefore, in remembrance of what I have chose to let go of for the sake of this exam, and also as a check-list of how I shall be appreciated (by myself, ha ha) for embarking this labourious journey, I hereby present you: -

The Ultimate What I Must Do After SPM List
1. Sleep. No, really.
2. Eat well. 1200 calories per day. But how.
3. Hang out/eat in McD the wonderland.
4. Date my loved ones! I've been resisting this since... I better not say.
5. Buy myself some pretty things for no apparent reason.
6. Watch all seasons of How I Met Your Mother.
7. Watch all seasons of Desperate Housewives.
8. Rewatch all seasons of Gossip Girl and continue from where I have stopped.
9. Rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds and continue from where I have stopped.
10. REWATCH GREY'S ANATOMY OVER AND OVER.
11. Rewatch Bloody Monday.
12. Watch all seasons of Death Note the anime.
13. Take lots and lots of photos.
14. Get a job. I need to earn money to spend. Bwahaha.
15. Learn how to cook and bake... for the 102258th time.
16. Create a Tumblr account.
17. Beautify my blog. It deserves good treatment after my exam.
18. Update my blog every single day if possible. 10 years from now I may be reading the posts of the next few months and I definitely want myself to remember how happy those times were. Hah.
19. Outings outings outings. Shopping, eating, jungle-trekking, camping, fishing kite-flying etc. With whomever as long as they are as crazy as I shall be.
20. Play The Sims 3. I HAVE WAITED FOR FAR TOO LONG.
21. Read constantly. Sidney Sheldon's, Oscar Wilde's, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's... Oh yeah. J.K. Rowling's. Never allowed myself to finish her books. Why? EXAMS LA.
22. Quit my job and get another one. To gain more experience.
23. Go on a vacation. Wherever. But if I do this it means that I must stop everything else in this list for quite some time. Hmm.
24. Rot in KL for a week. One of the musts.
25. Take lots and lots more of photos.
26. Get myself a driving licencee. Oh how could I forget.
27. Play some games which I have always told myself I'm too busy to. DDT maybe? HAHAHA.
28. Learn 10258 new songs on the piano.
29. Do something to my hair. But I'm definitely NOT dyeing it.
30. Exercise daily. What's gotta go, gotta go.
31. Change my profile picture. My current one was used since January. Hah.
32. Read the newspaper daily. Get to know things.
33. Rewatch all Harry Potter movies. This was what I did after UPSR. Only there were not as many.
34. Solve the 1000-piece puzzle which I intended to solve right after PMR. Yeah my time management is beyond description. I know right.
35. Bake a cake - successfully - with my classmates.
36. Do 200 sit-ups daily. For real.
37. Clone myself with of course, the help of awesome Jan.
38. Climb a tree. Because my teacher said so.
39. Teach Wallie how to 'roll over' and 'play dead'. Which is probably going to take forever but well the girl deserves undivided attention once SPM is over. I mean once what's after SPM is over. Don't worry, I'll get her a new toy.
40. Upload the photos which I have always failed to for various reasons (300 units at least, 6 albums AT LEAST) to Facebook.
35. ( - Will update this list from time to time)

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I could choose to forget about everything above and stick to Italy. Brilliant.

I waste so much time

2011-10-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

You know the post I've been talking about since weeks ago?

Yeah coming soon.

Life status: scattered everywhere.

2011-10-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

Prologue: This will be a rather....unorganized post. I shall throw in every fact of life which my much neglected blog has missed out from time to time. I am also going to mention that this will be a short post as I cannot afford to lose any more time. I apologize with no responsibility and much regret for the randomness.

This post is short because I insist that it mustn't be long.

Not too long ago, I tortured myself every single (schooling, haha) night just to cramp what seemed like knowledge into my minuscule brain. And my most awesome God granted me with not a single B (as stated in black and white) for my trial exam, which is indeed, very generous of Him. All glory to God.

I did not score an A+ for my Add Math by the way.

That night I was brought back to some vague images still stuck in my head when we played 'hide and seek' during the weekly MYF. If this game sounds unfamiliar to you, it is actually a game where a person closes their eyes and start counting until a certain number while the rest of the group find a good place to hide. The aim of the game is to seek all of those who have hidden themselves. And we played it in the church sanctuary. I was seventeen-year-old during then.

I personally think that we do not need Facebook to survive. It did not even existed until four years back then. Did we suffer for not having a Facebook account back then? No. Did we die of not checking our notifications daily? No. Was Facebook even a big part of our social life? No. No, no, no. And yet look at what we have become today. Even teachers check their Facebook in their staff room. Therefore it is confirmed. Facebook created our needs. Our 'wants' have slowly and silently transformed into our 'needs'. Look at what the world does to us these days.

Lunch was good today.

Beware when you choose to believe Somebody. Somebody may seem so sweet and sincere that you are totally blinded by what Somebody seems like. The truth may shock you. So always trust your instincts. They say never trust Somebody completely. I am still pondering on that. But what I am sure about is that we must always trust God to the fullest. No doubt on that.

I don't know what happened to me. This feels like by far the lousiest post I have produced with my very fingers. Which makes me hesitate whether to publish it or not. If I do, then people will judge and see me as a retard for what I have written. Human nature. If I do not, then it means I have wasted thousands of seconds for nothing. Then again, if I do, I may probably lose respect due to the nonsense I have written.

Two or three years ago my posts never contained any trace of nonsense and stupidity at all. True story.

Well, what's done, is done.

Epilogue: Next up will be the post which I have pined to write for more than too long. I mean it this time. It is going to be legen-

wait for it

Yes, I am...

2011-10-08T23:54:00.005+08:00

Good at nothing.

Good with nothing.

Good for nothing.

Bah.

I had a dream.

2011-10-05T22:28:00.001+08:00

Perhaps it was only just a dream.

After completing my task as a secondary school student here, I would leave my very much happy, colourful, yet childish life for good. I would leave my home as well. I would pack only my important belongings, hop on to a taxi and send myself to the airport. I would take as many flights as I must to get to a beautiful place... Most probably Italy. Yes, a vacation. I would explore everything good in life over there, all alone. Even though that means backing out from everything better here, in Malaysia, I would still go on with what I started because I know I have to give myself some time, some space which I think I deserve. There, I would get the peace, the tranquillity and the serendipity I never had. I would walk to places with the sceneries often featured in movies, snap beautiful pictures, and I would sit on a bench in a park, reading words in an alien language. I would hold Vericilla - my brand new iPod in my hand, and a bi-language dictionary on the other, learning to sound like nothing I have ever sounded like. I would see how people live, I would eat various kinds of food, I would enjoy the fresh breaths of a new hope there. Leaving everything I have built up here all these while, I would be a stranger to everyone and everything there, and everyone and everything there would be a stranger to me, even myself in both ways. That would be the best time for myself to really know who I am, what I want, and what should my life be all about, for I would be the only thing that matters to myself. I would not keep in contact with anyone or anything at all from the place I backed out from. No Facebook, no Twitter, not even Skype. All the time I have would go to myself. Pardon me if I do sound somewhat selfish, but maybe, just maybe, this is what I need in order to build myself a strong mind with maturity, to find my own identity, to be the person I have always wanted myself to be. It wouldn't take long anyway, a few weeks will do, I promise. Until then, I shall vanish from this poorly-led life I am experiencing now. But if I do not return, that would mean I loved myself better with nobody else to share my life with, which, obviously, strongly infringes my principle of living a happy life.

If only dreams were meant to come true.

Excuses.

2011-09-30T17:54:00.000+08:00

I uh... I have a stomach which is very upset. So I lied to myself that I needed to rest instead of doing any other form of good to myself for my future's sake. And I ,as expected, was stupid enough to be deceived by my own self. Four pathetic hours of my life gone with the wind as the fan spun without fail.

Stupid.

All is well.

2011-09-24T01:24:00.002+08:00

What can I say.

The past three weeks had been lived well. With the favour of some carbonated drinks (contains caffeine), the unending push from people of various kind, a little bit of kiasi (and a tinge of kiasu) spirit, I was able to sink into the isolated, cold, but sensible world that has been waiting for me since forever. The routine is almost familiar to me now. I wake up from those mere hours of sleep, I regret, I go to school, I get horrified for I have not stuff in necessary things, I regret, I pray, I sit for my papers, I go home, I sleep for a very generously long time, I wake up and regret, I procrastinate, and then I torture my tiny brain at late night - because I just have to. The cycle goes on and on, and that is how well I have lived for the past three weeks.

Yes, for the second time, you have read it right. The past three weeks. I refuse to comment further on my never-changing not-going-to-study-until-the-day-before-exam habit. Or worse. It has become an infectious disease initiated from my very heart, pumping out mutated life-blood that fed the arteries of my being with each disastrous beat of it, leaving me with nothing but a soul of nothingness, hence the pathetic way I carry out my life.

I recall saying not to comment further on that.

The phenomenon of every head literally bowed to a ninety-degree angle with their eyes fixed sternly at what the books or notes have to say was no longer stranger to the Form Five students. The body of silence - or peace I call it, was my favourite part. Noiselessness just took over as time began running faster and faster. Those who are able to catch up with time will secretly, but definitely enjoy answering the questions, while the unfortunate ones (for instance, me) who just cannot catch up with time, will experience the hours of the exam dragging by, endlessly. Then when time dragged no more, ~~they~~ I will scribble whatever there was in mind on to the almost blank paper, for that was all there was.

Occasionally, one of the boys in the class would say it out loud. Yes, 'all is well,' and then everyone got back to their own business. Rancho, from Three Idiots had said:

Our heart scares easily, you have to trick it. However big the problem, tell your heart, 'all is well, pal'.

The problem we face, of course, would not be solved by just like that. But we will gain the courage to face be it a chemical equation or a mathematical equation or the stupidest question that terrified our mind, by tricking your heart. Does it really work? Go try for yourself. (Yes of course, the exam paper is already on the table and we have to face it already.)

Nonetheless, Johnny English had played a ridiculous part in one of the days in the past three weeks. Eating good food, watching the last episode of Grey's, they were all there. I couldn't bear myself to glue my whole body to the chair and have my mind cramped in with all sorts of unfamiliar terms without being happy. So yes, I have lived well for the past three weeks. I could conclude that I did whatever I had to do to make myself a happy and able-to-study person. I have lived well.

Next up will be the post which I have pined to write for too long.

All is well.

Epic September: Part 1

2011-09-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

Here lies a blog entry, delayed for somewhat too long, and here your eyes cannot stop catching words after words - maybe you just did - because you find the computer a thousand times more attractive than your revision books/you tell yourself you need to take some time off to relax/the television isn't working/you want to find out what more stupid things I have to write.

Here, I am going to write about the steps to be taken should any one of you out there wants to experience disappointment, or even grieve, because you have nothing better to do in life than risking your self-esteem for the next whole (at least) six months - which most probably a sane person wouldn't even want to read on.

Aaaaaand you're still reading. Welcome to the club.

You will need:

A car, specifically without a functioning air-conditioner

A driver (You may cut out this part if you have got yourself a driving license, God bless you)

A mind with low rationality and little common sense

Time (2 hours at least)

Very, very supportive friends

Much courage

Step one: Make the most unwise decision of changing the way you live your life, with the encouragement and support from three amazingly inspiring friends, and also from some many strangers who all look something like this:

Step two: Pick a date for execution. (Saturday would be ideal for best results)

Step three: On that very unfortunate day, take a ride in a car - a very stupid one with a malfunction air-cond - and arrive your destination, which is the one saloon you wished (AND STILL WISH) to NEVER go back to. (Yeah that's right.)
Step four: Wait.
Step five: Wait.
Step six: It is still not too late to back out.
Step seven: It is finally your turn. You sit on the chair and stare into the mirror and even before you could bid your precious goodbye...
Step eight: SNIP! A pair of sharp and destructive scissors parted you from your... [insert suitable word].
Step nine: You cannot believe what you have just done.
Step ten: Regret.

However, in recovery of this self-created disappointment, here is what I recommend you to do:
1. Avoid the mirror.
2. Avoid the mirror.
3. Avoid the mirror.
4. Just avoid everything that reflects e.g. water surface, car windows, house windows, school windows...
5. You could make use of lots of hair clips, hair pins, hair bands etc.

P.S: I know you find this stupid. Because I find this stupid, too.

Note: Based on true story.

Awesome pieces of news!

2011-08-30T14:59:00.003+08:00

Lately, I have bonded much with this.

Prologue: On the day I turn eighteen I shall deactivate my Facebook account. Decision is made. Any further thoughts/monologues shall be strictly ignored.

Ahhhh yes, as you have read from the above, I have awesome pieces of news to share with you, right here, right now. What makes those pieces of news awesome is that each piece of news ascends a level above each!I promise. So please get excited. Hahaha.

So, the good news issssss:

The third person who comments on this entry shall be treated a Baskin Robins/Tutti Frutti (you get to choose!), if and only if I get an A+ for my AddMath in the upcoming SPM trial examination.

But I'm sorry to say they won't look that good. Sigh.

Premiss 1: If I get an A+ for my AddMath in the upcoming SPM trial examination, then the third person who comments on this entry shall be treated a Baskin Robins/Tutti Frutti.

Premiss 2: If the third person who comments on this entry gets treated a Baskin Robins/Tutti Frutti, then I shall get an A+ for my AddMath in the upcoming SPM trial examination.

Correct? Blah.

But the better news isssssss:

No one reads my blog! Therefore no one will comment on this entry, hence no one shall be treated any Baskin Robins/Tutti Frutti! Less a choice to be made by some(NO)body. How great!

However, the best news issssssssssssssssssss:

The probability of me getting an A+ for my AddMath is: 1/9874563288963218126875! So even if somebody reads and comments on this entry (probability: 1/987456328896321812687), it is very likely that I won't treat anybody any Tutti Frutti/Baskin Robins, thank you very much!

Okay now you can take your eyes off this boring/idiotic/lame entry. Who am I talking to anyway.

Self Interview #2 - "A super meh-post."

2011-08-16T23:49:00.001+08:00

So we meet again.

Indeed.

It has been...

Seven months.

Seven months?

Since the first interview...?

Oh? Why yes, it has. I was actually going to say that it has been..

A while since I have consumed food.

Are you kidding me?

Maybe?

Alright, whatever. You know, it has been..

A very, very short year. My, my. Look at the calender! (Like I do) It's already August.

Oh yes I couldn't agree more but I was actually gonna say that it has been..

Confirmed that I will be sitting for my MAJOR MAJOR MAJORRRRR exam in exactly ninety days time? Oh man.

Oh wow that's new to me. Okay where was I...

You were here, and you are here, you idiot.

Oh shut up. Ah yes, now I remember. I was saying, that it has been...

An annoyingly boring interview.

BAH! YOUR ADDMATH SUCKS!

You are so mean...

There's no escaping the truth.
No mistaking it's you... ~

Someone did her homework.
Yes!! Yes I did!!! (O.O)

Somebody bring out the champagne! :D

I don't. Drink.

Oh well then, somebody serve some fries! :D

Nom nom nom! I would love to have some. But I have some weight issues. Don't tell anyone about my recent weight gain okay? Shhh.

Okay. Your secret shall lie embedded in me forever.
That's the second time you used this phrase.

Blah. Now tell me. Who, other than Captain Jack Sparrow, inspires you?

Gordon Ramsay. He looks something like this:

Explain your answer above.

Because he fries awesome fries!

Are you sure?

Positive.

If there were one thing in this world you would want to own right now, what is it?
Time. And more time.

If there is one person you could duplicate for one day, who is it?
Myself. Double the amount of time I have for that day!

What is pretty, furry, white, and eats durian?
That awesome coat displaying at that awesome - Wait. That awesome coat does not eat durian. Why, this is a trick question! The answer is of course - Ngoh Wallie itself!

Oh the cleverness of you.
And the vainness of you.

Who loves to eat?
Me.

Who loves to sleep?
Me.

Who loves to sing?
Party rock is in the house tonight ~

...
Everybody just have a good time ~

Who loves to complain?
Me.

Who loves to procrastinate?
Me.

Who wants a digital single lens reflex camera?
Me.

Who talks nonsense?
Me.

For the next question, refer to the quote below.

"I am the stupidest person ~~on earth~~ in the world."

The above quote was said by...?
Me.

Describe this interview in one word.
Dedratereeopiumnosonnfilateean.

Who wants to end this dedratereeopiumnosonnfilateean interview?
Me. And I bet you do too.

See you soon.
To get to the exit, turn around, walk straight for about a minute and then turn left, walk for another 24.123 seconds then stop for 4 seconds. Admire the portrait on your left hand side for about 3 minutes, then walk straight...

Imagine a soon-to-be SPM candidate taking the trouble to move the pointer, dragging thus highlighting every alternate sentence and then clicking on the colour bar followed by the boring, boring colour in the effort to entertain you/herself. What a life.

Dear Wallie,

2011-08-10T17:56:00.004+08:00

When you first came into my life, you were white and you loved to bite. I never thought that you would be anything like this, nor did I know how a little being can affect one's life, so much. I wish upon the stars that you would actually understand every single thing we said and we meant, particularly this post here, because I have chose to use my fingers to type about you, rather than using them to write countless equations in preparation for a very major exam, which is nearing, in an unwelcomed manner though.

Just the thought of it makes me want to sleep.

Also, I wish that there is a way for you to communicate with us, other than your sad whinings and fierce barkings, because I want to know what you think, how you feel. I want you to share your moments of joy (which is probably when you get to eat humanly-food) and your moments of fear (which is, of course, when thunder strikes) with me, I want you to tell me how boring it is to lie there the whole day with no one to entertain nor to be entertained by, I want you to ask me why can birds fly but not you. But you're just a little Wallie, who once looked similar to a polar bear.

I may not spend a lot of time with you these days, but you will always matter to me. The reason why you are always abandoned alone in the mornings is because I am a student; I must attend school at day time. The reason why you are not allowed into the house is your intense hair fall - which is why we cut down your intake of humanly-food recently. The reason we tie you up, is because we know that the wires and cables of the gate never fail to tempt you, and when you start showing your flawless biting skills again, daddy would be furious. The reason why you collar is blue in colour, is because there weren't any other colour options at the shop, according to daddy. The reason we bring you to the vet's for jabs is because we do not want any harmful disease to attack you. The reason why I don't stop the sky from roaring even though I know you hate it the most, is because it's a natural phenomena - I have no control of it.

The reason why I didn't want a pet in the first place is because I hate partings.

I could not think of any other possible things which you may not understand, oh believe me, I would love to answer more, if not all of them.

Look how much you have grown! Though you still have a strong tendency to bite things now, I may conclude that it now causes less pain than when you were a baby back then. My hope for you is that as your age increases, your maturity increases as well. Thunders are unpreventable, so I really, really hope you may overcome this tremendous fear of yours as you get used to the natural phenomena of your living place.

Last but not least, happy birthday, my dear Wallie. Please do stay healthy, pretty, and don't make daddy angry.

Lots of love.

Options, much?

2011-08-08T00:01:00.003+08:00

August 2011.

2011-08-01T14:42:00.004+08:00

I do care...... But.

Look at how he stands/semi-squads.

2011-07-25T16:33:00.006+08:00

It (my ridiculous pose) just came to me when he used his imaginary wand to strike me.

Just another post, with no conclusion.

2011-07-24T13:30:00.009+08:00

This week was... Packed.

Packed with all sorts of feelings. The calm feeling despite the monthly (bloody two-day-ONLY) test. The little bit of worry about being so calm. The devastation when it (not to be mentioned here, sorry) was written for the first time in my seventeen-year-old life. The ignorance towards reality. The excitement for Harry Potter. The temporary happiness to see pretty things. The celebration of one's life. The satisfaction over an ice-cream. The boredom of life.

Things keep happening and time keeps passing by. Everyday people die, people are born, good things happen, bad things happen. And some times the same thing keeps repeating itself everyday. Since primary school, I fear just one thing - exam. The purpose of an exam is of course, to test your knowledge and how fast you learn. To me, exam was a good thing. It used to be, truthfully. Because through it, I knew who I was. I was this person who would stay up til late night to ensure that I've covered everything that I needed to do. I would do my best and hope for the best. I aimed for the best. That was me.

I sit for exams every year. We all do. And it never stops. After some time, exam, to me, has lost its meaning. Exam has become just another cycle in life. A routine. It does not tell me who I am any more. It does not test how much I know any more. Now, exam is just testing my speed of memorizing a certain part of certain books in a certain period of time. I memorize fast, I do well; I memorize slow, I fail. That's all. That's about what exam is today. And I fear it no more.

Hence my condition right now. I don't know how to describe it. It cannot be. It's like I'm already fixed this way. Unmovable, unchangeable. And of course I hate it, very, very much. The worse part of all is that I know what I lack but I'm just.. not moving. The passion is gone. The eagerness, the enthusiasm, all gone. And the day before, I realized I'm turning 17 in a month. I have lived this way for... like more than a year?

No. This is not me.

That night before I fell asleep.

2011-07-13T16:30:00.004+08:00

With one of the most magnificent device ever invented in the history of mankind - which sadly I will never own one - called an iPod, in my hand.

Uh I guess my hypothalamus is to be blamed again.

Anyway, before I fell asleep, I grabbed my sister's iPod in the effort to refresh myself by playing this game, which I have not played for quite a while due to my absence at home, called Hired Gun (recent permanent addiction). Like usual, a password was required in order to access the device. Like the usual way, I entered the password by gently tapping my right thumb several times on the smooth surface of the device. However, as familiar as the iPod was to me, the big screen stated 'Invalid Password'.

I was stunned for that moment and tried very hard to make sense and accept the fact that I was wrong, while the device - which is ALWAYS right - was indeed, right.

I then realized that the password I keyed in was the password for Luiz's iPhone.

Subsequently, I realized that I miss choir. And I miss my team, very badly.

Desperate for attention.

2011-07-08T22:48:00.001+08:00

I found this somewhere in the world wide web and thought that it's something worth sharing here, as a reminder to me, and to you.

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag’s side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, “what was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That’s a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?” The young boy was apologetic.

“Please, mister…please, I’m sorry but I didn’t know what else to do,” He pleaded. “I threw the brick because no one else would stop…” With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. “It’s my brother”, he said. “He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can’t lift him up.”

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, “would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.”

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. “Thank you and may God bless you”, the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.

The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: “Don’t go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!”

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don’t have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It’s our choice to listen or not.

I am blogging when I am not supposed to.

2011-07-05T14:19:00.010+08:00

Because it makes me feel comfortable when I am not supposed to. Sheet.

This is the (short) story about the first concert I have ever attended in my life - as an audience. If your name is Ngoh Jess Lynn, you would probably be shouting 'NO NO NO OH MY GOD FOR THE 2389563th TIME, IT'S A FAN-MEETING, NOT A CONCERT!!!!'.

Whatever.

It all began on a sunny Friday, at our dear (sadly) polluted Teluk Chempedak beach. While my elder sister was chatting with mum, my younger sister was busy with an Apple product (can't remember which), I, too, was busy with a Nokia/Apple product (can't remember which either -.-). Then, at a few hundred seconds past two, a phone call which changed my entire weekend came. It was my aunt who apparently got us three tickets, FOR FREE, to this Korean boy band called Beast's (my elder sister is a crazy big fan of them) concert, and she asked whether or not we will be going down to KL for the concert, which falls on the same Friday night. Mathematically, the concert was six hours away from the very phone call.

Then we (me, sister, sister, mum, dad) did the craziest thing we have ever done in our lives. As for our dear beloved Wallie, she went through the craziest stage in her life.

After many many phone calls, it was decided. My dad agreed to drive us down to KL on a Friday. Because I know one day in the future I will look back and tell others about our insanity, I decided to follow down, despite having to miss several tuition classesss (I was and still am in this phrase of life called being-unable-to-absorb-new-things-due-to-various-reasons a.k.a. zero knowledge, truly). That was indeed a stupid and crazy decision to brag about haha haha haha. -_- After around an hour and half of preparation, we set out around 4pm.

The journey of insanity.

Our journey included discussions about our accommodation, feeling concerned for poor Wallie, naps, lessons for recognizing the faces of the members of Beast by my elder sister (which failed miserably by the way), taking photos, many phone calls, receiving a phone call from aunt informing us that our tickets are VIP tickets, tweeting, texting, status updating etc. The concert starts at 8:30pm and surprisingly we reached our destination half an hour earlier.

For someone who doesn't know Beast really well, I think the concert/fan-meeting was not bad. It was quite entertaining as I sat there watching the boys performing and listening to the screeching screams of human beings, picturing in my mind what would it be like if I were in tuition then. Joyce would be on my right, Jamie would be on my left, Shar Min would be at the back of me... HAHAHAHA.

I love free tickets. I also love my aunt.

Them, the translators and the emcee.

Only to cover my hideous pimple.

As usual, we stayed at our other aunt's place (where we usually do when we are in KL). And as usual, we had awesome KL food. Not as usual, we had dim sum for breakfast for two consecutive days and I got so sick of it I swear I will never put any dim sum into my mouth again. Hahahaha yeah you guessed it right that was a joke you know me so well it is absolutely impossible for me to get sick of food. Unless it is so bad that it made me ill for two days and miss my best friend's birthday. Stupid canteen keropok.

I'm not going to elaborate on the two other days. I had a great time that's how I would end this story. Some pictures for memory's sake:

I want an iPhone. :'(

Oh by the way, tonight is the night I am going to be cured from all depressions but unfortunately the treatment only lasts around an hour so please bare with me until I get well. To join me for the treatment, tune to Starworld at 8pm sharp. What sort of depression you ask? Well 6 gigabytes of my life was taken away from me on this fine Sunday morning that's how depressed I am right now, thank you very much Nokia. Also I want to thank Starworld, my family which includes my father, my mother, my sister, my sister, my little sister, my aunt, my aunt, my uncle, my uncle's wife, my uncle, my aunt......

When was the last time I wrote here about my feelings. Hmm.

I realized that...

2011-06-29T18:17:00.004+08:00

To be happy, you must not depend on somebody.

To smile, you need not a reason.

To crave for food, hunger is not necessary.

To endure, is a good practice of perseverance.

To be able to resist, you must be able to control your whole self.

To do better, you must get out of your comfort zone.

To achieve your goals, you have to make things happen, rather than letting things happen.

To be able to breathe in every moment of your life, is a blessing from The Above.

And I always write nonsense in my blog. Blah.

:O

2011-06-26T00:30:00.002+08:00

This morning I couldn't decide which stall's nasi lemak to eat. Hence I bought both. And ate both. How satisfying. :)

Yesterday I wanted to eat sushi and KFC and steam rice all at the same time and ended up having my lunch at Koizen. How joyous. :D

The day before yesterday I knew what I want to eat for breakfast in school but this particular food I have chosen was not available on this particular day where I, for once, knew what I wanted. How ironic. :/

Then a few seconds ago I decided that now is not a good time to blog. How disappointing. :(

Being excruciatingly lazy.

2011-06-21T21:12:00.002+08:00

And hating it that way. End of post.

7AM and I (CANNOT) go back to sleep.

2011-06-14T15:35:00.005+08:00

I don't know what happened to the 'blog as often as possible' policy. O_o

What I do know, however, is that my Facebook wall is a big mess, just like my study table which have been ignored by me for almost two weeks now.

I also know that if I do not write something here as soon as possible, this place will be forgotten by generations to come, like the way my first pet fish was, by me. Oh what a comparison haha haha haha.

Moreover, I know that I have taken/participated in around 500 hundred pictures in this week and it would be somewhat selfish of me if I do not share even a percent of them here so keep reading if you want to see the less selfish side of me.

Before that, I have a question for you YEAH YOU and I would appreciate much if honest answers are provided. The question iiissssssssssssssssss do I write very emo-ly here and is this blog still a depressing blog which instil bitterness in you once you've read it haha Thank you for participating this questionnaire you may choose to comment below or shout out in the chat box. A piece of Sticky (you get to choose your flavour!) will be rewarded for every honest comment/shout out :) ( < < < I'm serious.)

To start off from where I left you hanging, yes, dear living human being, it is done. I HAVE PASSED UP MY ACCOUNTS FOLIO PRAISE THE LORD! There may be several errors for various reasons but I don't care! I passed up that's what matters yaaaaayyyyy! :D Spent seven labourious and horrendous hours keying in numbers and alphabets non-stop on the day right before the deadline.

HAHAHAHA this is my style I think you're getting familiar with it already.

To carry on from the day where I started to disappear (here), well I don't normally write things so detailed here but this is worth a remembrance, I followed awesome Kuantan peoples down to KL for RE:UNIION 2011. This is the third Revolution conference I have attended. Took 23432850 pictures throughout the four days, had awesome fellowship with the people, got to know more about God. Who knew that Justin Bieber could bring such impact to others' lives. Do mail/text/call/stalk me if you want to know about the story. Sadly I missed a few sessions of the conference due to a terrible stomach ache also known as the 'dabian issue' caused by um, very eye-catching and mouth-watering food. Food species and source will not be mentioned here to protect the innocent haha you're so welcome.

Needless to say, I am the tallest.

First P.A.R.T.Y.!

My awesome and I.

The last night.

Pinkos! :D

We had nothing better to do than posing in front of the hotel.

On Sunday when I came back home I got so nervous and worried about my folio that I spent two hours on getting nervous and worried about it and went to sleep for another two hours and have been working on it ever since 7PM. Yeah that's right the sky was not dark yet. Of course I went to bed very late that night and I looked rather awful for prom. Don't thank make ups, I have never looked good in them. And to be honest I regretted for my hairdo that night. AGAIN. Sigh what to do. Some people just don't learn from their mistakes. *coughsmecoughs*

Star. Uh on my left arm I mean.

Me and the prom queen!

Class photo. Min Shar Chua where are you.

Me and my awesome. Again bwahaha.

Then on the awesome Tuesday, I went for my annual (that's right ANNUAL) haircut accompanied by my awesome - the awesome Jeremy. My awesome hairdresser (KENNYKENNYKENNYKENNY) cut my awesome long hair and I now have awesome short fringe. Isn't this just awesome :) That was truly one awesome day. Nobody in this world could ever de-awesomize that awesome Tuesday! Because facts are facts lar, what more do I need to explain.

A picture of me taking a picture of me. And Kenny and Jeremy the awesome.

Wednesday was another blessing from God. Sometimes things just, happen. You'll never know what's coming and you'll never know what to expect until things happen. To summarize it, Wednesday was a great, great day. For your information it was the seventh consecutive day I'm with my awesome and this has never happened before. Most true story ever told in my blog.

Birthdays celebrated in this holiday were Sue Xian's, Wei Yien's, and Yin Hui's. They were all born on the same day of the same month of the same year. Besides, they were all born in the same country too. (Assumption of mine.) Also, they are currently studying in the same school as I am. In addition, they all have Facebook accounts. Bah who doesn't.

Seipo 2 and Seipo 4 in red. I feel so special/left out.

Seipo 4 is actually a retard. Don't worry, your secret shall lie embedded in me forever.

With the birthday girl, Sue Xian. (The only one in black.)

***

Seipo 5, Seipo 4, Seipo 2 and I.

Us with the birthday girl, Wei Yien. (The one with glowing horns.)

***

Me and awesome fringe. And head of a good friend. :D

Us with the birthday girl, Yin Hui. (The one in between the pinks.)

It's been a week since my hair cut and I am adapting to it quite well I can say. It's been more than a week since RE:UNIION and I pray that this fire won't burn out. Now here are a few conclusions that can be made based on this post:

1. I am not selfish - I shared more than 5% of the pictures I participated in the past week.

2. My awesome exists. Sorry for never posting any pictures of him before which leads to your doubt of whether he is an imaginary friend or a real person.

3. I did not forget about my poor blog. Although evidence may support otherwise.

4. It indeed was an awesome week. And awesome-ful week as well. :)

Lastly, don't forget about my generous offer of Sticky to you! All you have to do is provide my honest answers. Til then, thank you for dropping by at jessminn.blogspot.com.

God bless you and may the next post be near.

Roarrrr

2011-06-10T17:46:00.003+08:00

Aiyaaa couldn't finish the post in time rushing to tuition now will try my best to finish tonight so stay tuned!

Hahahahahaha.

P.S. YES, I'M ALIVE.

Folio folio you are such an.... never mind.

2011-06-01T13:50:00.007+08:00

I have added many many albums with a sum of 116 songs altogether to my current play list.

It is playing track 3 as I type, and I hope that by the time it reaches track 115 (last track to celebrate victory), I have already completed my accounts folio. Which is quite impossible, based on logic calculation.

Not to mention that I haven't had my lunch and it could take me hours to finish a good meal.

To be completely honest, I have never used up more than a week to get any of the folios in my life done. For the usual case we will be given at least a month to complete it, but for the usual me - who is very well-known for procrastinating, indeed - the time I use to finish a folio rages from day, to days. I used less than 24 hours to finish my Geography folio when I was in Form 1 back then. True story. Anyway I must not stay any longer here, for I have purposes in life. Another true story.

Boredom of the worst kind , we meet again.

Report: Day 1

2011-05-30T16:45:00.003+08:00

I have to force myself to write at least something here or else I will feel lacking of achievement within me; a very true story you are reading.

What a boring title, you would say.

Indeed, a boring day deserves a boring title. Thus born this boring post.

Last June/mid-term holiday was waaaaaaaayy packed, yet I was as excited for it as ever, I could still recall. Now, an extremely short year later, where has that spirit gone, I wonder. Perhaps there are the times in life where one is supposed to be at the most top - you go straight and beyond your capability yet nothing stops you in the middle, and some points in life where little little disturbing things intersects the fine line you are walking, whether intentionally or not.

Anything in any form in this world has the ability to interfere your life. You are on a diet plan and you see McDonald's, you use the pink can glass as an excuse to get the fries your taste buds (secretly) crave. You want to (/MUST) study and you look at the clock, you tell yourself it's time to sleep. You have decided to stop spending money on unnecessary things and the big big 'SALE' word somehow reaches your eyes, you walk into the shop like your thoughts never exists. You want to direct your life in your own way and you see big big people walking in, you step back and shrink with a scale factor of one over a million.

Pink can glass, clock, a big four-letter-word, and now big big human beings with power, we surrender to them all.

Human races surrendering to each other I get that (a little bit), but to non-living things? ..... What has the world done to us. Do we not have our own stand? Do we not have the choice in our own hands? Why can't we go ahead with our decision and not be affected by others, nor affect others?

Life. So many things to understand about it.

I'm not saying that intersecting lines are not good. In fact, the world would be a nightmare without them. If every single line in this world were parallel, wouldn't everyone be living in their own world? You want to eat, you cook yourself. You don't know how to cook, you starve and die. No one sells food because there is no other people than you in your world. And no one will teach you what is right and what is wrong. A pointless life of loneliness you will live.

For me, it's the way we see things that matters the most. A little bit of self-control and discipline would help much. You see pink can glass, you tell yourself McDonald harms your health; you see the clock, you see it as how many hours more were given to you as your last chance; you see the big four-letter-word, IGNORE for it is a strategy to get you out of your own stand; you see big big people, put yourself into their shoes, try to understand and give them a benefit of the doubt.

Though I still need lots of practice on these. Here's a reminder for people (me) who cannot resist pretty pretty things:

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

Right now, I am going to do no. 4 in the list (from previous post) and tonight I will be going through no. 2, and tomorrow no. 1 will take place. Nevertheless no. 5 is happening this instant and no. 3 shall be ignored. For now.

My condition right now. (as of 27.05.2011)

2011-05-27T22:56:00.013+08:00

I do not recall mentioning in my blog that I'm a very happy person now so... Here it is.

I am a happy person now. :) :) :) :) :)

Contented and blissful, I walked out of the path of the downfall in my life. Full with hope, I breathe in refreshing, soothing moments of life. I feel joy. I can now spell the word, happy, I can recognize it, I can pronounce it and bless my soul, I can even feel it. I no longer remember how bad and rotten life had been, which is good because right now I have no intention of hating and escaping life at all so yes, things are all pretty good now.

Well except for the fact that the list below intersects my two-week-holiday.

The (undesired) list
1. A minimum of 5 days of St. John activities
2. A minimum of 20 hours of tuition
3. Deadline for a folio (equals to minimum 50 hours of boredom)
4. House chores (don't you wonder why Indonesian maids love to run away..)
5. Time wastage (Always, ALWAYS intersects my holidays)

But let me just forget about the existence of the list for one blogging moment and proceed to my writing. After all, what I have right now is time, a bed, and a pair of pleading eyes.

Therefore I decide to end this post and please my eyes.

Inordinate.

2011-05-04T16:14:00.006+08:00

Why, hello there.

You know the times when people log in to their blogs and write about how much they hated people for treating them this way, how awfully hurt they were for being called that way, or even express their feelings with a list named 'People that I want to kill'(Yes, yes I was inspired by the English test paper)....? Yeah no, I'm not gonna write about how I feel or who I intend to kill - not that there is any anyway. After all, I didn't put up a blog title for nothing.

Wait no, I did put it up for nothing. Nyahahahahha.

As you may - or may not - guess it right, I am to write about several events in my life, which coincidentally, all fell In the same week.

Firstly, there was this Bonanza promotion in Sushi King and of course I, the great food-consumer, would not miss this rare opportunity. It was as if I have waited my whole life for Wednesday night to happen - I was even more excited than a Rebecca Black on a Friday.

(No pictures of food lest you get envious and jealous.)

Question: Who in the world would queue such a long line for just a dinner?

Hint: The person writing this.

Answer: Me.

Amidst the joyous occasion, my brilliant classmates discovered the wonders of having (MY) long hair, as a result of taking an extremely great amount of photos. They say a picture speaks a thousand words, but I have to say for this case - a picture speaks an awesome phrase.

"Four beautiful ladies."

I had so much fun that night that I forgot to go home. Oh obviously I'm kidding. Or am I not...? Okay enough with the sushi part. Next, I shall proceed to more sushis. On Thursday I went for more sushi with my sisters and my mother, but very, very unfortunately, not a single Unagi was seen by the eyes of four that evening.

(Sorry, I take back my words above.)

Hey, at least I did not post a picture like this right?

Oh great I just made myself envious and jealous of myself.

That very night, I spotted a lonely bottle in Parkson and decided that it was very pretty so I took a picture of it and this is how it looks like:

I have a thing for pretty things, you know. Ignore fire-hydrant, only admire the colour.

On Saturday, I became one of the ushers for the MLTR's concert held in SUKPA. Don't believe it? (Because it sounds unbelievable to me, too. I understand how you feel.) Here's solid proof. Hah.

That was one really great and yet another fun experience for me. We arrived at 3+ and basically waited the whole day for the concert to start. Massive wastage of time, I tell you. But then again, had a great, great time with the people.

Here I shall talk about something I learned in the most effective way - not through reading, not through listening, nor both - it is through real-live experience. On Sunday, I fell down a rabbit hole and never got out. And I learned that rabbit holes do exist

Joking.

On Sunday, I stepped onto a spot of negligible amount of sand - or at least, I thought it was sand - and sank and sank and sank. I did not sink to the bottom, why of course. If I did, who would be blogging for me? My duplicate? Dream larr. The (failed failed failed failed failed
) photoshooting event on Sunday has opened my eyes to so many things in this world, which one of them is that, quick sand does not exist only in TVs. It exists in real life too - in fact in Kuantan - and if there was nobody around you while the quick sand was busy eating you up you might be... You know. Such a memorable experience indeed. Cut my left foot in exchange of memorable, memorable experience.

That Sunday night I went to watch a Chinese movie with some relatives and the next day another dream came true - I WATCHED FAST FIVE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!

And it was the best movie I have ever watched in the cinema by far. For the year 2011. The Dark Knight and Inception was also the best and the best so I have to state the year for the previous sentence. Nonetheless, 3 Idiots was awesome too but I watched it in the lousiest camp I have ever been in my entire life. How ironic.

In essays about a happy occasion you would always read "Sadly, our day has come to an end.", which obviously tells you that the writer is going to stop being happy. But here, I am going so write something like this:

"It is indeed a very happy week and I believe that much much more happier things are yet to happen."

Inordinate amount of blessings, just in one week. God is great.

Truly inspired.

2011-04-19T21:03:00.006+08:00

Many a time we think that we know things, and it is indeed true, that we do know things. Many of them. And when we know so many things we feel like... The president of USA. (He's the most powerful man on earth, no?) And now when I realize that fact, I despise the feeling of being so powerful and in control.

Sometimes in life, you don't go to places to learn something. You go there, to be reminded of something. Very often there are so many things going on in our lives that we don't treat them equally, we prioritize things and the rest, we neglect them and soon neglect turns into forget.

Forgetting is one of the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Once I forgot to pay some registration fees and it caused me hell for two days. Not only that, forgetting also costed me undesired troubles, my reputation, and even a phone and some sim cards. And many more but ironically, I've forgotten what forgetting caused me.

On Sunday, I was reminded to do something only God can do so well - to forgive. I have forgotten that life could be so much better to live when we forgive and let go of the baggage of burden in our heart. We know, oh yes we know that we should forgive and love one another. But do we practice that or even remember that? I know I did not.

Jesus' final words, mustering all the strength gasping for air, fighting excruciating pain, He said these:

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Jesus,once again, truly inspired me. In all ways. So inspiring I am blogging the night before we have history test haha haha. All in all, I have learned to forgive and life is good and getting better I'm sure.

Great is the Lord God Almighty.

2011-04-14T23:01:00.018+08:00

G o t J e s u s ?

Everyday.

2011-04-07T19:16:00.006+08:00

Mondays always remind me of how eager I was to start doing new things - the old me.

Tuesdays tell me how important is the TV in my life and how undisciplined I have become.

Wednesdays makes me so tired I want to sleep forever.

Thursdays show everyone how I always do things last minute.

Fridays make me want to die because of the piling undone homeworks.

Saturdays are depressing because I don't get to be happy any more.

Sundays allow me to waste all my time because they think that I have done everything well.

I came to think of how this lifeless cycle continues everyday, me swaying around like an empty shell with no destination.

Then, a voice in my head started to sing to me:

Everyday, it's You I live for;

Everyday, I'll follow after You;

Everyday, I'll walk with You, my Lord

Remind me, dear Lord.

A letter I never thought I would write.

2011-04-04T23:48:00.004+08:00

Dear hypothalamus,

I have lived for sixteen years and eight months and today was the first time I have ever heard about you. It is indeed deeply regrettable for such late knowledge of your existence in my head all these years, shame on me.

You must be an incredibly hardworking piece of me. When they told me facts about you, I just couldn't help but notice how important you are to me. I was taught that it is you, who is in charge of regulating my sleep, my hunger, my thirst, my body temperature, the water volume in me and also my blood pressure. And also for many other things which I haven't fully understand about so never mind, I will get back to you on that some day later.

I know this is the first time I have personally wrote to you, but I have a few requests from you here. And you must certainly not decline for it is you, all these while, who caused me to waste all my precious afternoons sleeping, who caused me to owe my stomach and body constant apologies because you keep telling me to eat, and who caused me to waste my energy and time walking up and down the house all day to refill my bottle of water.

I appreciate what you are doing to and for me, I really do. However, my cerebrum and I decided that it is best for all of us if you could just readjust my daily sleeping duration, my urge and craving for food, and also my habit of drinking water. This is because too much of sleep and food and water is not good for my health. And you are asking for way too much.

So, my dear hypothalamus, please work it out and decrease your needs for the three mentioned above. I will not accept a no as an answer because that is just unacceptable. In return to your kind and obedient effort, I will give you a five-hour sleep tonight. Or maybe a little bit more. I will also make sure that my hair will keep growing so that you may get extra-protective shield from any form of harm.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Yours sincerely,
ME LARR WHO ELSE

What happened in March, 2011.

2011-03-28T16:06:00.012+08:00

It started with the helpless me finding myself in deep regret for wasting my time, energy, freedom and money on the lousiest camp I have ever been in my life.

Not long later we celebrated the birthdays of Shar Min and Xing Zhao and Mandy, who birth dates are 10 days apart from each other respectively.

And then on Shar Min's birthday, I took a (ahem) 'lala' picture with her but unfortunately I do not have the picture with me right now so here's the proof that uh... A part-time/full time cashier is needed at Tea Time.

Then I rewound time and got back to the early 19th/20th century and managed to capture a piece of peaceful picture of girls and the mess they created, in black and white, of course.

I saw a smiley on the white board which I couldn't resist and hence the production of this.

After dwelling in the black and white days for some time, I decided to come back to year 2011 because I find black and whites unbearably boring. So when I came back, Shar Min - the most awesome Nyam Nyam-feeder in the world fed me with (yeah you guessed it right) Nyam Nyam!

The following day we attempted to rescue a Tinkiwinky. Oh blah a Po I mean. An ever-smiling Po.

I don't know how but somehow this picture was produced hahahahaha hahahaha haha.

And a picture of self-admiration (best thing to do in the world when there is a TV, a pink camera, and a cable in the house).

Then I had the third McD meal in the year. Ask me how many McD meals I've had in this year right now and I will tell you 5 and I promise you, that is not a lie. WHY OH WHY COULDN'T I RESIST.

And well.. I intended to treat somebody for sushi because I was craving for it at some point in March, but unfortunately had and still have no ability to take myself to sushi and guess what, she declined.

SHE DECLINED SUSHI.

Then I don't know how my name got stuck at the back of a random chair found in Shazan Inn.

Last but not least, I gladly announce that Timothy Huang Li Xuan (such a beautiful name...) has fulfilled his promise! :D Which he made half a year ago but never mind I forgive him because of the ice cream muahahahaha.

***THE END THANKS FOR READING***

Okay so that is what happened in the past 28 days. Here I am going to list out some of the things that are going to happen in the next 3 days. After all, what is March without the 29th, 30th and 31st day eh?

1. I will end this post soon and proceed to my homework right after this; no nap for me today because I chose to blog. Gah.

2. I will eat less because I despise food! (Yeah keep telling yourself that. It never works.)

3. I will sleep less too because sleep is ruining my life.. No, seriously.

4. I will (HOPEFULLY) get all the things I want to before the deadline. I have always disliked deadlines.

5. I will think of how to surprise Mandy on Thursday hohoho.

6. I will plan about the surprise for Mandy on Thursday.

7. I will surprise Mandy on Thursday.

P.S. If your name is Mandy Say, surprise! :D

P.P.S. I am very happy today! :D :D

I did not die.

2011-03-17T01:25:00.004+08:00

Did you?

Pardon me if this seems a very harsh way of welcoming you to read my latest post, but I just cannot forget about having myself waking up this morning to the fact that I am alive, and to the question of whether or not you are alive, thank you very much, dream. And for the record, my body clock lives in a world such that the time it tells is constantly varied, so no, I did not wake up an hour ago.

That was the introduction and this is the part where I must warn you that it is not advisable for a weak-heart-er's view. With all due respect, no offence intended. I just don't want to get blamed for a stupid eye-sore.

WARNING: CONTENT BELOW NOT RECOMMENDED FOR WEAK PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY NGOH JESS MINN.

Below is the stolen conversation between Jess Minn and Jess Minn:

Jess Minn: Ahhh life sucks.

Jess Minn: You don't know it.

Jess Minn: Life really sucks, and I do know it okay.

Jess Minn: The Japaneses' life suck so much more than yours.

Jess Minn: Absolutely not! They're just homeless and foodless, while I am having a conflict with you, whom apparently happens to be myself.

Jess Minn: That's what you think...

Jess Minn: That's what I know...

Jess Minn: How are you sure of it?

Jess Minn: Like how I'm sure that Wallie is a female.

Jess Minn: You thought that she was a male at first.

Jess Minn: True. What's your point?

Jess Minn: My point is you may be wrong about something even when you're sure about it. Stupid.

Jess Minn: You are stupid..

Jess Minn: It's pointless talking to you.

Jess Minn: Only stupid people continues a stupid conversation.

Jess Minn: You're right. You're so stupid.

Jess Minn: And why am I...?

Jess Minn: Because you are still taking part in this conversation. In addition, you are doing nothing to your broken life.

Jess Minn: Hey, this life is mine, I know what to do alright. Mind your own business will you?

Jess Minn: I think I am doing so..

Jess Minn: No you're not. You're -

Jess Minn: Ahh I'm getting sleepy. And I'm gonna do something about my life before I die. I'm gonna live like a real human being. This is my advice to you before I go, Jess Minn: Do something. Take it or leave it.

Jess Minn: Bye bye most boring post ever. Sheet I feel like removing this whole part now.

I might have just marked down the history of the lamest and most meaningless post that ever existed on planet earth and uhh I do not know which of the above is me haha haha haha okay go to sleep good night bye bye just don't die.

I fall down.

2011-03-08T22:15:00.004+08:00

Very often these days, I write the same thing here, over and over, never tired of it.

I am going through the stupidest and shittiest stage of life right now, so if you want to judge me, judge me as someone who is going through the stupidest and shittiest stage of their life.

When one falls down, one should stand up and walk again. Of course I know that's the right thing to do. I know that is what I must do. But you see, it's not like this happens everyday. It's not like you get to fall apart and break down everyday in your life. Well minus the past 23 days, at least. My point here is, this is such a rare phase is life, so rare that it must be lived differently. So yeah, I am still going to treat humans like non-humans, and I will still stay annoying and rebellious, and I shall enjoy all of the above, until I decide to stand up and walk again.

And I will stand up and walk, when I feel like standing up and continuing my walk.

Right now, I have three jobs to carry out daily: to breathe, to eat, and to survive. The end.

Back to February.

2011-02-28T17:42:00.005+08:00

To those who haven't started your moral folio, I request the highest of five.

To those who hates me, you hair looks extremely beautiful today.

To those who are undergoing hormone-attack, please be strong.

Yesterday four awesome human beings went to the mall and took pictures with a plant and then they walked to the stadium from the mall under the big big BIG sun. 109 times bigger than the earth. Just so you know.

February came and February is departing in 6 hours time and will make its annual visit in 365 minus 28 days to come wow that sounds so far away. Well in short, this February was.... Not good. So not good I don't even feel like talking about it here.There was three important days, of course, there was Chinese New Year (sounds so long ago), there was troubles, there was the reopening of school, more homework, more troubles, tests, troubles faced while encountering the tests, food, troubles faced while encountering food, and absolutely no solutions for any of the troubles above.

And not to forget that there was the undisciplined, annoying, rebellious, disrespectful, hateful, never-happy me telling the whole world that I haven't started my folio even a bit and yet I'm here blogging and dare to reveal this even.

So this is February. Next is March.

2011-02-26T00:14:00.004+08:00

When I am not happy, everything and mostly everyone in this world sucks to the maximum point, and I hate I HATE everyone and everything on this planet, and there will be no chance of me treating any human being like a human being.

And I am not happy.

End of story no updates or whatever shit I wanted to complain about because those shits do not deserve to be even talked about in the first place.

:( :( :(

2011-02-24T18:49:00.002+08:00

I don't know why :(

I got the chance :(

To get out of the house :(

And to EAT even :(

But I lost track of time :(

How did I not die, I don't know.

2011-02-20T19:02:00.004+08:00

I don't feel like washing my hair.

I don't feel like studying.

I don't feel like facing things and people I have to.

I don't feel like lying on the bed.

I don't feel like logging in and out from Facebook over and over.

I don't feel like walking in and out from the kitchen for good food's sake.

I don't feel like being awake and alert.

I don't feel like myself any more.

I just want to sit on the red lazy chair and watch Junior Master Chef for the rest of my life. That is one thing I look forward to today. Others, are all just pain and simply stupid.

Announcement: I'll be gone for long.

2011-02-13T22:57:00.007+08:00

Today is the thirteenth day of the second month of the year.

After tonight, I will lose almost everything. So these are my choices of plans I have in mind in order to move forward:

A. I will use all my strength and power to earn back and even build up things that makes me feel strong and invincible.

B. I will stay numb and be ignorant to everything else in the world, including me and myself.

Think I will choose A? Hahahahahahahahaha think again.

(Why of course I will choose A, gahh I may be shallow in knowledge but I am not stupid okay.)

Just in case you are wondering;

2011-02-13T00:14:00.005+08:00

Nothing is falling apart.

I'm just trying to keep a very very low profile TYVM.

Today I woke up (thank God) and spent more than 12 hours outside home and consumed various food and recorded a video and took 327 pictures altogether and this is how one of the pictures looks like:

Tell me I'm an awesome photographer. (Doesn't matter whether it's a lie or not.)

Happy eighth of February!

2011-02-08T20:50:00.007+08:00

No, I will not ever attempt to use dates as post titles again when I cannot come out with good post titles in future. I will use... Dictionary. Or Spoiled webcam. Or Ang Pau packets or whatever thing that lies on this computer table instead of dates for my post title. Dates are so boring right.

Today is a happy day because I just don't see why not. Music plays, humans breathe, computers function, internet lives, and Jess Minn does homework... Enough to profile happiness, even just for a day. Hence the random and boring and picture-less post you are reading which I believe is not leading you to any point.

And oh, anyone out there who would like to win uh.... A lollipop? Tell me if you do! Seriously.

I have never watched any of the episodes of the second season of Glee and Glee airs on Tuesdays nights and I have just quit my Tuesday night's tuition for my future's sake and Glee is airing in five minutes and apparently I prefer Blogger/Facebook/Twitter/Hotmail/Google/Nuffnang to Glee.

GLEE.

What has the world done to me.

Happy eighth of February :)

Happy fourth of February :)

2011-02-04T17:34:00.011+08:00

When the familiar voice travelled through the air of Sia's gargantuan house, the cake was in my hands, with candles but not lighted. Hoping for the best that he wouldn't notice any of us in the kitchen as he passed by in his journey towards the TV room, yet cannot wait to see him, with his sweet smile outshining every other thing that matters. With the help of two other friends we finally managed to locate the lighter, which played one of the vitals on that evening and seven candles were lighted up instantly within ten seconds, as if that ten were the last that would ever exist.

Then slowly, very, very slowly, I walked heading the TV room, with two people similar to security guards along by my side, only, they were guarding the pink candles, not me because I wasn't pink enough and there wasn't any fire on my hair. When we finally reached the door, most of the candle light were put out due to the air movement in that gargantuan house so we reignited them and behold, me holding a beautiful (as described by someone else, not me) cake, with seven lighted pretty pink candles on it. Then we knocked, they opened, and the anthem of a birthday song begun.

And while the first phrase of the anthem was sung, all the seven candles extinguished, because the air-cond was situated directly above the door, also known as the place I stood during the entire anthem.

So much of my labourious journey towards the room.

That day was a celebration for today. Every today, an awesome person celebrates his birth, celebrates his life, celebrates the gift from God. And my wish, for this person, is that he will always be happy in everything he does, he will look at the good and bright side when things seem down, and always, always believe that good things happen. If there were any 4th of February which I weren't able to wish you, I just want you to know that I will always, always, wish you my best. Rock on, shine on, and keep holding on to your dreams. ♥

To my awesome, have a wonderful birthday and may God bless you, always. ♥

A meh-post; will be removed soon enough

2011-02-03T14:50:00.006+08:00

Is it true that I never once blogged on the first day of Chinese New Year?

I planned to wake up and 8:10 this morning (eight-ten sounds better than eight o'clock) and ended up still lazing in bed when my mum came in and wake me up. Ate every possible species of food available in the house for brunch and then came up here and watched this video for the 24247th time. And I don't know why am I feeling so empty that resulted in me writing a lame post here. I also don't know why but the only place I want to go on the first day of Chinese New Year is the mall which is the place I ranked number one on my places-that-JessMinn-should-distance-from list because if I somehow teleported myself into the mall I would most probably start spending money and there goes my semi-DSLR so, meh. And then my sister also attempted to tie a pink pretty ribbon around Wallie's neck but she just refuses to be pretty and kept biting in away. In addition, I also realized that I have spent nearly two hours here on this computer and this is not a good way to practice my resolution so I am going to leave right after I say
Happy Chinese New Year everyone. There bye bye.

Something is so wrong with me that I am currently considering tidying up my desk and start studying.

2011 Resolutions - A post to be remembered.

2011-02-01T17:25:00.002+08:00

Now that I have failed to attain (effortlessly, though) cash for shopping, I am therefore, officially, and hopelessly stuck at home on the 1st of February, sitting in front of a very familiar thing which name is too hard to be mentioned here, trying to gather all the bits and pieces of resolutions I have scattered in my mind on past random days, and illustrate them here into read-able words so that more space in my brain may be emptied for the storage of new words and sentences (some calls them, knowledge) for the upcoming exam.

Goodness glorious gracious did I just typed out the word 'exam'.

Yesterday in the process of baking a cake (told you the mixer is my new best friend) I suddenly came up here and sat down and then clicked on to Google Chrome and then went into Youtube and this is what I typed into the search engine: Junior Master Chef.

Because they are almost half my age and they can cook/bake/whatever-a-chef-does better than me and I needed inspiration and all those, you know.

Don't wonder why is there not a picture of the cake here, wonder why would someone post an epic failure on her blog. (I call the cake, biscuit.)

So enough of yesterday's story, because I am supposed to write down my resolutions for this year in this post and the time limit I set for my resolution post was until January so I am actually 17 hours overdue and I am so very sorry about that I am going to say something about time management in my resolution... I am promising here okay.

Before adding or modifying my 2011 resolutions, let me look back at and comment on my, well, pre-resolution:

2011 resolutions

1. Seek God, trust God, listen to God for 365 days in 2011. Working on that...

2. Eat McD only once a month. (12 meals out of 365 days, God bless me) Succeeded! :D I'm a proud McD lover.

3. Discipline myself whenever I come to face the wonders of the computer and internet. FAILED

4. Study everyday until I am officially exam-free. MEGA FAILED

5. Read the bible EVERYDAY. GIGA FALIED

6. Spend less money. Need to save money for a dot com HAHAHAHHAHA just joking. Improved I can say... Improved.

7. No outings. (If decided that this can never be achieved, this will be very sadly removed from the list.) Be gone and be removed, oh what nonsense this sentence is.

I therefore, hereby decide, that I need a new resolution list, that goes like this:

[Edited at 10pm++]

2011 resolutions:
1. Put God first. In everything. It's Him I live for everyday.
2. Eat McD only once a month. Oh yeah 11 more meals to go this year. I rock.
3. No computer on weekdays unless necessary. Tweeting/blogging/checking Facebook updates is absolutely NOT a necessity please understand okay thank you.
4. Study everyday. Do homework everyday.
5. Read the bible every morning before school/tuition/church.
6. Resist awesome temptation. ONLY buy the needs. Save money for uh.. A semi-DSLR. Good enough. I'm an average person.
7. ~~Strictly no outings.~~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a joke. Once a month is the maximum that's it.
8. Learn how to cook and bake and get the kitchen to love me. I am very determined. Thanks for Junior Master Chef for the inspiration most awesome TV program ever after.. Well. Can't think of any right now.
9. Somehow, just somehow, somehow get myself a semi-DSLR by next year.
10. Straight A's in every test/exam. A- is also an A.
11. Read more. At least a book a month. That's the only way to improve my lousy English...
12. Build up my self-discipline. Ignore the computer if it is a weekday. Ignore the bed if there is any unfinished work. Ignore split ends and distance myself from scissors all time. Ignore food as frequent as possible. Ignore everything else in the world including my own benefit's sake but something if tomorrow is a deadline for something.
13. Manage my time well. I guess this means less sleeping (less, not NO) because I can tell you, I spent most hours in January sleeping. True story. So well. Appreciate time. Handle it well. Time is our enemy. Time is our enemy...
14. Tell lies only when necessary. White lies are inevitable. Lies which turn out to be jokes are stupid so no joking-lies. (In other words, joke less. Because most jokes I tell are lie-related.)
15. Major improve on sight-reading - play the piano more often.
16. Stop losing rulers. Or pens. Or worse - erasers.

I may be updating the list from time to time as the list above (in purple) is not finalized yet due to my poor judgment and concentration at this late hour. Laugh hard - if you must - at 4, 6 and 8, do not provoke me to modify 2 and 7, do not deny 16 because I know you want 16 very much too. 14 used to be a good habit of mine but it somehow abandoned me and now I'm trying very hard to get back to that habit. As a start of achieving my resolutions, right now, I am going to do 12 and 13 which is disciplining myself - not sleeping too late, and managing my time well - not sleeping too late.

P.S No. 9 is very good.

iamawesome.com .

I am so proud that I am posting this here.

2011-01-30T15:00:00.006+08:00

Lo and behold,

The first egg yolk I have ever separated in my life. Accompanying it is of course its best friend - the one it spent its entire life with in an enclosed spherical shell, the egg white. It should thank me for I have made its life less boring just a few minutes ago. Later on, the egg yolk will meet its new best friend, who is also my new best friend - the mixer. Oh don't you just loooooooooooooovee mixers.

I still have resolutions... Coming soon.

2011-01-28T01:02:00.007+08:00

How did a notebook-hunting end up logging in to Blogger and then clicking the 'new post' button and then writing things here when there is an actual red notebook waiting to be found, I don't know.

In the first twenty-seven days of the first month of the year, I have lost two fourty-five-cents rulers, my name tag, my other name tag, a hairpin, several exercise books, and of course the clever red notebook.

They have all hidden, and are all still hiding in a black hole called Zathura.

Two hours ago I tied up my hair in a comparatively high position so that I won't tend to sleep and apparently it is working and this is the most random sentence I have written here.

When the bad comes, the good hits.

2011-01-23T00:24:00.007+08:00

Needless to say, everything in life that has once been gone, be it by force or by will, has got back on their respective track that leads them to - yours truly, me. School teachers people to deal with paperwork (wow do I not sound professional on this phrase) homework responsibilities roles to play machines to be my procrastinating-cells my anti-procrastinating-cells memories eye bags and all. They have all once again officially took over my life.

By the way I did not largen the 'me' above because of being desperate for attention. It is for the reason that I feel that this normal sized 'me' is not big enough to embody all those uh.. Long lost substances in life.

WHY OH WHY IN THE SKY EARTH SEA MUST THEY COME BACK.

Anyhow, I am still in the process of learning to befriend all of them, to love them and see them in a positive perspective, at the same time battling my procrastinating-cells with my anti-procrastinating-cells as hopefully, the winning weapon. As for the eye bags... Photoshop will do its job. (Just joking although I know it's not funny but still, I must write something about it)

Today I am going to quote myself a temporary quote for the sake of this blog post, because I say so. And the almighty quote I have chosen for this blog post is:

"When the bad comes, the good hits." - Ngoh Jess Minn, 2011

And now here is the part where I stop complaining about how tiring my life is or how much life is putting on me. Here, I am going to introduce you the human form of Jiggly Puff, which is one of the goods that hit. This is Jiggly Puff by the way:

And the human form of Jiggly Puff is quite similar to the one above. Only, with an emphasize on the height and a sever lack on the width, un-pink, and not kept in a Pokeball. She sings her theme song to me everyday, she has lovely voice and she smiles all the time. Introducing: -

Mandy Say! The most awesome form of Jiggly Puff ever who somehow managed to pinkified herself in this picture heheheheheh. And below, another picture of the good that hits when the bad comes, as quoted by me.

One of the good part that hits is of course the fellowship I had with my classmates, in the process of dealing with those long-lost substances. We are all students and we all face almost the same things and situations in life, hence leading to the understanding we have for each other. It's not the jokes they make in the class nor the things they do, it is the unity we have that makes me feel... In place. Not lost on track despite the depressing thoughts that comes and goes. These people can make me feel good even in the worst situation, I promise you. As much as I dislike school (cause of dislike: HOMEWORK), I love being around these people whom I can learn so many things from, who can make the best out of the worst, who has become a chapter in my life.

Such a blessing to be a part of my class.

In life, these things are constants: growing, learning, loving.

5 Cerdik is awesome.

Self-interview #1 - By-product of not wasting a Monday afternoon.

2011-01-17T17:11:00.004+08:00

Hello.
Hello!!!

Mind if I ask you some questions?
Oh no no, not at all. All I have is time. Oh yeah.

Alright then. Well first of all, heard of this thing called homework?
Yep.

Does it remind you of something?
Yep. Wait no. Nah.... Not really.

You haven't finish your homework.
Yes.

Because you die die also want to blog?
Because I die die also want to blog.

Okay. Now tell me. Where is the 2010 recap post?
On the way... On the way.

Why is Facebook closing down?
Because you are lying.

What if Twitter closes down too?
Long live the internet!!

What happened to the gummies?
I gave them away.

Where were you yesterday?
Somewhere too awesome to share about here. Nyahahahaha.

:(
Aiyor read the post below lar sheesh.

So.. What did you learn in school today?
I learned that the canteen lady will smile to you and give you extra attention when you call her 'kakak yang cantik'.

What else did you learn today?
Thou shall not keep the fan on despite the cold whether for your manly reputation's sake.

How many days!
23!

Who sings a nice song?
Justin Bieber. Please listen to this song before you decide to die after reading this.

Why aren't you uploading pictures in Facebook while doing this interview?
Just because.

What is an ordeal?
Not eating McDonald's for a month is an ordeal.

Who do you wish to see tonight?

Chad Dylan Cooper.

Is that possible to happen?
No. Because there are homeworkssss to be done and I am currently ignoring them for this interview's sake.

I don't remember asking you why. Anyway, where is the resolution post?
Eheheheheheheheheheh.

Acts 16:26 says..?
"Suddenly there was such violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone's chains came loose."

What is a polymer?
Long chained molecules formed by the joining of monomers by covalent bond.

This is ridiculous.
Yes it is.

So.. You had a happy weekend?
You bet.

You got rid of something which once was sticking to you every day and now it has come back. What is it?
St. John.

Your mother says that you must manage your time well.
I know. But I love to sleep. And eat. Sleeping and eating take up half of my day. How?

I think I'm getting bored.
So am I.

Wanna cut your hair short?
Oh what a question.

I'm done.
I'm done.

Okay you shall end this by completing the sentence below in not more than 50 words:
This year, the teachers are gonna love me because...
I wear blue and blue-wearers must do homework. They must be responsible, never procrastinate, follow instructions, and basically be disciplined. Hence the end of this post as I walk towards my homework grievously, full of descipline.

Thank you for reading and any annoyance caused is very much regretted.

What happened to me in these two days.

2011-01-16T19:52:00.006+08:00

I skipped tuition for this.

I took a picture of my awesome with my second awesome.

I LOVED the environment more than my bed. (Obviously FAKE but I have to say that)

We took this awesome picture.

And we took pictures with seashells.

There were a few more pictures, but my computer was too smart to handle them. And oh believe it or nor, what's happening to me now is that I'm missing Master Chef Junior for the sake of this blog post. And 'missing Master Chef Junior' may also be substituted with 'ignoring my homeworks' or 'pretending that tomorrow is not a Monday'. Because I love multitasking.

2011-01-14T12:50:00.001+08:00

Reality sinks in.

2011-01-07T23:10:00.005+08:00

I did not walk away.

I ran away. As fast as I could.

It was pretty well done. I could almost taste how it feels like to be the fastest runner in the world. And all it takes for myself to feel so, is to focus only what is in front. The ending point. If I were to rate my focusing skill in this matter I would say that there is no need to rate. I am the best in this matter. I ran like never before.

Until lately.

I slowed down my pace. I ran, but without speed. It's almost like running in no medium. Yeah.

Then the run nonchalantly tired me. So I walked. So I walked.

I walked, with no velocity.

And today, I stopped, and I looked back.

If today were the thirty first of last month...

2011-01-06T19:15:00.006+08:00

(Last month. Wow.)

... And if I were free to just stop by here to write something rather meaningful instead of being busy getting all emotional and sentimental and busy telling you people about it, this is what I would have written:

The last day in 2010 - today - marks down the second most historic moment of the year: I got a haircut. Not the usual manual haircut I get myself everyday when I see split ends - this time, I, the brave, walked into a saloon, and sat down, and put my hair entirely into someone else's hands, whom of course I believe had the power to get rid of the bottom part without causing external damage. Pardon me if I hadn't been greeting you with a grand introduction on the last day of the year but really, this matters too much. It can be said to be one of the biggest and most unpredictable decision I have made all year long. Of course, I am happy with the haircut because I trusted the right person. Why of course, I wouldn't be here at all had anything gone wrong. What I would have done was throwing bunch of (red coloured) swear words here and just lock myself in the room and never speak again, pretty much like what I did during my previous encounter with terrible experience, with somebody I trusted. Bleh. So yeah. I did not regret a bit. This post is written specially to thank three, no, four human beings whom I believe got very tired advising and persuading me to go for the haircut. Thank you very much, awesome people. I am now a happy and grateful and shorter hair girl. May God bless you all.

Which too bad it isn't so I can't write it.. Or did I just do it. And don't tell me you cannot see that I have cut my hair or that it is still as straight as before I will be very happy one you know and when I am happy I can fly one you know and when I can fly I will fly to your house and do crazy stuffs like robbing all your chocolates for my own selfish sake so yeah you better don't tell me that.

Welcome aboard.

2011-01-03T17:03:00.012+08:00

LADIES
AND
GENTLEMEN
(BOYS
AND
GIRLS)
WELCOME
TO
THE
FAITH
HOPE
LOVE
AIRPORT.

THANK
YOU
FOR
CHOOSING
TO
FLY
WITH
US.

PLEASE
REMAIN
IN
YOUR
SEATS
WITH
YOUR
SEAT BELTS
FASTENED.

THE
PILOT
FOR
THIS
EXTENSIVE
JOURNEY
IS
JESUS.

NO
ONE
KNOWS
HOW
LONG
THIS
JOURNEY
WILL
TAKE.

NO
ONE
KNOWS
WHAT
IS
TO
COME.

NO
ONE
KNOWS
OUR
DESTINATION.

NO
ONE
BUT
OUR
PILOT.

PLEASE
REMAIN
IN
YOUR
SEATS
WITH
YOUR
SEAT BELTS
OF
FAITH
FASTENED
THROUGHOUT
THE
FLIGHT.

YOU
WILL
NOT
BE
ABLE
TO
SEE
THE
OUTSIDE
UNTIL
YOU
HAVE
REACHED
YOUR
DESTINATION.

PLEASE
MAKE
SURE
THAT
YOU
HAVE
PACKED
ALONG
PERSEVERANCE
WITH
YOU.

THERE
IS
NO
TURNING
BACK
ONCE
WE
TAKE
OFF.

THERE
MAY
BE
ORDERS
AND
CALLINGS
FROM
THE
PILOT
THROUGHOUT
THE
FLIGHT.

THEREFORE
EVERYONE
SHOULD
BE
QUICK
TO
LISTEN
AND
SLOW
TO
SPEAK.

LISTEN
TO
THE
PILOT'S
INSTRUCTION
AND
BE
WISE;
DO
NOT
IGNORE
IT.

REMEMBER,
HE
IS
ALWAYS
WATCHING
YOU.

WE
HOPE
THAT
YOU
CHOOSE
TO
FLY
WITH
US
AGAIN
SOON.

TAKE
CARE
AND
HAVE
A
GREAT
JOURNEY.

Jan ♥

2011-01-01T23:41:00.001+08:00

Today, I am brought to another higher axis in life.

Today, I stand on the horizon of a new beginning.

Today, I celebrate life.

Today, I have faith.

Today, I hope.

Today, I persevere.

Today, I choose.

Today, I open my eyes, I open my ears.

Today, I experience more than yesterday.

Today, I learn more than yesterday.

Today, I gain more than yesterday.

Today, I give out more than yesterday.

Today, I love more than yesterday.

Today, I become accountable to myself, to my future, to all possibilities life has to offer.

Today, I become accountable to someone other than myself.

Today, I find myself a grown-up, I instill maturity in me, I put a full stop to my frivolous past.

Today, I end my sixteenth year of life.

Today, I understand, I accept, and I live.

Today, I keep walking.

Today, I keep holding on to one dream.

Today, I keep hoping, I keep the faith, and I give out the best.

Today, I start to build up who I want to be.

Today, I mould my future.

Today, I pray, I will never let myself go.

Today, I hold God's hand and let Him lead me in this entire journey called life.

Today, my walk towards heaven and eternity becomes shorter.

Today, I promise, I will run, until I finish this race.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
- Psalm 118:24

Today, I look forward to tomorrow, to eternity, to infinity, and beyond.

31st December, 2010.

2010-12-31T21:26:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday to my beloved uncle! :)

Yes that is all I have to say. I am not ready to bid 2010 goodbye yet so don't disturb me I'm being sentimental now and trust me you won't want to touch a sentimental person's emotion. And oh did I mention that I have tuition tomorrow. And oh oh I haven't done my tuition homework yet because I am busy being sentimental. Aaah welcome back, life. (I am so not ready to say it but well.)

Orlo!

2010-12-30T18:23:00.009+08:00

Meet me and her (blog owner's) name tag!

Yours faithfully,

New Wound produced by finger of unknown

P.S. BANGSAI BOYS ROCKS

Edited at 00:29, Friday: -

Bwahahahahahahahahaha you tell me who rocks. You tell me. God is so awesome larr He reserved this and waited for me to come back you know!

P.P.S. BANGSAI BOYS ROCKS

Merry Christmas! :)

2010-12-25T22:47:00.007+08:00

Do you know who takes two hours to pack for a five-days-short/long camp despite knowing that he/she/it will die if he/she/it does not practice the piano today because of his/her/its absence in some place for some time? And do you know who sleeps like a dead pig instead of spending quality time on the piano? And and do you know who blogs the night before he/she/it parts from the computer for five awesome days and puts 'Merry Christmas! :)' as the latest entry title so that when people views her/his/its blog in the next five days they will go 'Oh the last entry wasn't very long ago what he/she/it last blogged during Christmas! It's just uhh.... 120 hours ago.'?

Me.

And tomorrow you will know who brings three bags and a plush toy to a five-days-short camp.

Now I reread my last entry in 2009 and trust me, IT IS EVEN MORE STUPID THAN STUPID. Don't trust me? Nah here you go. See the consequences of not setting your target before you run? See how's the life of someone who doesn't aim for the top? See the painful aftermath of battling between you and yourself, fighting for uh, average?

Cannot see ah? Look at me lor.

Don't ask me. I - myself do not even know how can I be so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. STUPIDDDDDDDDDD!

Anyway, here I am to announce the first few of my new resolutions also known as BIG decisions. (List will be updated if I ever touch this computer again.) And this time I better achieve more than half of them or else I will cut my hair (bwahahahahaha).

2011 resolutions

1. Seek God, trust God, listen to God for 365 days in 2011.

2. Eat McD only once a month. (12 meals out of 365 days, God bless me)

3. Discipline myself whenever I come to face the wonders of the computer and internet.

4. Study everyday until I am officially exam-free.

5. Read the bible EVERYDAY.

6. Spend less money. Need to save money for a dot com HAHAHAHHAHA just joking.

7. No outings. (If decided that this can never be achieved, this will be very sadly removed from the list.)

And now you also know who writes their resolution on their blog on Christmas night right before they (sorry, very lazy to type he/she/it) leave Kuantan for good. ................. Purpose.

Proclamation:

2010-12-23T14:37:00.006+08:00

*Exciting part begins*

I am not even close to excited about my day but there is definitely something worth being excited about today! :)

Well done my awesome :) :)

*Exciting part ends and continues with normal-JessMinn part*

Tonight's appearance was neither foreseen nor planned. Remember about my third hobby which is doing things last minute? Apparently this, too, is one of the case. (I helped some friends last minute - yesterday - and got cheaper tickets as must-receive reward.) This was never intended. I promise you on my entire closet full of my preciouses.

Have you ever....

2010-12-21T21:47:00.008+08:00

Avoid oily-food intake? Not because you think you are fat but it's because your stupid organ do not know how to emulsify fat.

Have you ever been in front of the computer, feeling completely lost and all alone?

Have you ever ignored the other option which is you could actually choose to join happy people who laugh like crazy people in front of TV?

Have you ever been through a mental breakdown because of five amazing-used-to-be people on this planet which causes you to constantly boycott any form of products from their country, at all?

Have you ever feel that your biggest accomplishment in life is starving hopelessly for seven miserable hours?

Have you ever thought that something is really wrong with you because you drink only two bottles of water a day?

Have you ever suspect that there is actually a tumor growing in your big head, compressing details, personality, characters, and memory that is stored in your brain?

Have you ever knew that you want things so much yet you do nothing about it because you think that your brain tumor theory may be right?

Have you ever felt, completely stuck, with extremely minimal movement, down the hole there, where nobody knows exactly the location of it, not even yourself?

Have you ever told yourself that you know you are strong and you know you can do this and you want to change for the better but you just can't?

Have you ever been the one encouraging people, full with fire, pushing people through things, and yet in the end feeling exactly the opposite of who you have once been?

Have you ever thought that no one will read this because people will think that this is just another blog entry, whining all to yourself about how lost, how clueless, how miserable you are and nobody gives a damn? Oy I'm not blaming you ah, reading people.

Have you ever been the one, always aiming for the top, the best, perfection, and now all you can feel is just down... And broken?

Have you ever thought that maybe, you are tested by God and He wants me to stand up and fire up, and become a better person than who you were?

Have you ever know that you have thought the above thought and have been always wanting to be better and now... You're still stuck down that hole which is no where to be found?

Have you ever thought that this blog entry will just last a few lines because you think that there is not much in life but discovering that you were wrong because now you are still writing?

And have you ever been using an idiotic mouse for months which has no pressure or pain receptors on the left side of itself because despite how hard you press on it's left, IT JUST WON'T CARRY OUT YOUR STUPID ORDER?

And and have you ever wished that Santa will accidentally (on purpose) bump into this blog entry and get you the smallest and simplest present one could ever wish for?

Yeah welcome to my life.

This is for you.

2010-12-20T13:08:00.008+08:00

I am so blogging in a rush because not only I NEED to study for tomorrow's exam (yes larr I love to do things last minutes larr), I also NEED to practice a song which I was assigned to play on the last day of 2010 like two months ago but have been ignoring the assignment all these while because doing things last minute is my third hobby, followed by pining for McD and complaining about the hot weather. And also I feel so mega giga guilty that every time Danny clicks into this page he sees no update from me.

More importantly, I am blogging now so that there is at least something new in this few days on this very page because on next Sunday, I am leaving for good.

......... Purpose.

Despite the fact that this blog entry will most certainly reveal the childishness in me... Well I am leaving for good this Sunday so no matter. Oh sheet leaving for good purpose I meant.

Lo and behold, painting:

..... According to the numbers.

Number 3 is green, so yeah you get what I mean.... Yes?

I did not take part in this painting by the way. Proven here.

The unconvincing outcome hahaha hahaha. Ha ha. I know you said 'YERR SO UGLY ONE' to the previous picture. Or you may be still saying the same thing to this one.

So I ask you, what do two human beings bring home when they come back from KL and bulge into the bedroom as if they went to the moon and brought back a quarter of the moon (thus expecting warm welcome from me), careless of one human being is sleeping so soundly and peacefully in the bed?

...

Uhh this.

With these.

And I don't know how many seconds will it take to make it look like this:

9874563215878999862398786623157 seconds probably.

Okay done revealing my childishness. So you have been wiser after reading this blog entry. I'm gonna end this with a picture of a white creature with lamp-like thing surrounding its head and with a filthy ball in its mouth not to forget about its confused look plus the triangular ears. With food and water and a moon in the background.

Okay now where is my stupid first aid book.

You tell me larr...

2010-12-17T14:22:00.003+08:00

Which one to choose?

A. TV

B. Blog

C. Piano

D. Books HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Yeah limited options surrounded by four thick walls and oxygen of Kuantan and no 'you tell me larr' post isn't suppose to go like this but what to do. I have made my choice. And by the way eating is no longer an option because right now, oh trust me, I don't feel like eating for the next decade and I am pretending that there is no such activity called 'eating'.

Meanwhile, I shall present you : Sexy -

The car. Not the humans.

I ask you larr.

2010-12-11T00:42:00.002+08:00

Where to get such perfect book at such low price?

Book.

Oh sorry I mean, book...

Awesome right. It's so black you can even spot this book from far away. Not only that, it's so black you can write/draw anything on it with correction fluid/white pens/shiny writing tools. And and and, it's so plain you can even paste a big David Villa on it. Or maybe William Mosely. Oh oh it also works for Cedric Diggory NOT EDWARD CULLEN GOODNESS NOT HIM.

On second thought, leave it plain will do. Yeah. So perfect.

Now, ready for another part of this book that contributes to its perfection?

The pages are white in colour! AND not contaminated! They are line-free, logo-free, picture-free, words-free, and everything else-free! Seen any books like this? By the way drawing blocks aren't books.

(And here is the part where you say no, I do not know where to get such perfect books at such low price.)

Lalalala.

It is from the almighty GSC cinema where I get this perfect book from. Buy Combo 3 (which usually costs RM8.70) at RM9.80 and you get this awesome perfect book. So worth it I tell you. I don't think this type of book can be found even at Ebay. And if a Ngoh Jess Lynn happens to tell you that this awesome book is hers, please, dear readers, do not believe in rumours. Meanwhile the Narnia wrapper shall be put up for auction at the starting price of RM1 (yes, I believe that the wrapper costs RM1.02 and the book itself costs only 8 cents but you know our system here, rounding ups grrr) because Peter Pevensie isn't on it. Please comment if you are interested. Bwahaha.

I'm done sharing my joy here. Now if you may excuse me, I have an appointment with uhh.... KL. Upcoming post shall be entitled 'You tell me larr' and no, GSC did not pay me to do this.

Former McD crew: I'm alive.

2010-12-07T00:54:00.014+08:00

Far Far Away Land - Student/Procrastinator/Disappointer/Trouble-maker/Former McD crew, Jess Minn, is recently reported nowhere to be seen but in her house - the only building in Far Far Away Land (Population: one).

Danny, a concerned friend, decided to pay the aforementioned student/ procrastinator/ disappointer/ trouble-maker/ former McD crew a visit after having his inbox flooded by messages like these:

"Hello. This place is so boring I can die. Haha haha joking larr."

"Danny why didn't you reply. You know what I do when I don't get replies from you or not. I rot. Then I die."

"DANNY I'M GOING TO DIE! SUE BOREDOM AND GET ME MY JUSTICE WHEN I'M DEAD!"

A total of 18,975 messages were received by Danny within 4 hours (1 message/1.318 sec) which caused Danny's specially programmed computer to burst into flame and had his whole house burned down. It is suspected that Jess Minn has the ability to produce extreme heat via the world wide web. However, the theory has not been confirmed and the source of the above information is unknown.

'I don't blame her. I am all she has and I should be there for her instead of fishing in Slipshod-Slapdash Land. I'm just glad that she's fine,' said Danny. When asked how was Jess Minn's condition during the visit, Danny answered promptly, 'she was sane'. 'We chatted a lot and she just seemed... Normal. She even fed her dog,' he added.

It is believed that Jess Minn sleeps twelve hours a day and usually gets up at noon. All she does in a day can, in fact, be listed out in a sentence: wake up, wash up, eat, eat, eat, play computer, annoy Danny, whine out of boredom, annoy Danny, play piano, eat eat eat, set somebody's house on fire, play computer, blog, sleep.

It is also believed that she is blogging at this very hour, right before she goes to bed.

Although it is confirmed that Jess Minn is alive, and sane, it is highly suspected that she is, once again, in depression because she 'feels lifeless and thinks that the computer is ruining her life'. Moreover, she has nothing else to do apart from facing the computer (and eating, of course) while acting like all the books in her study room are transparent. She even acts like the study room never existed as it has been long since she stepped her foot into it. Her few previous encounter with depression was awfully ugly, so let us all keep her in prayer.

Sue boredom. Seriously.

Words and a picture at 0133 hrs.

2010-12-05T01:33:00.005+08:00

Why, hello there.

Did I mention that I have a MEGA important mission to accomplish tomorrow? Or let's say eight awesome hours later.

(Those eight hours are awesome because I'll use up one hour to get excited over knowing the fact that I will sleep soon. I am always very excited to sleep because I know that the next thing I do after I sleep is wake up. And I am always very happy to I wake up because well, I just don't see why not. And then I'll use five fine hours to visit my Never Land. Just enough. The two remaining hours shall be used up very wisely - open eyes, be happy, wash up happily, prep for important mission happily, etc.)

Yes, it is that awesome.

Jasmine's roses. (Flowers of a flower)

My life is awesome.

December already.

2010-12-02T01:52:00.008+08:00

Alright let me just pretend that today is still today/Wednesday/1st December 2010.

Today is different. Very different.

I woke up, had breakfast fried by my sister, no Grey's Anatomy blaaaaaaaaaaaaah, did not spend much time with the computer and left home (so finally) for five hours. So yeah today is different. Hence the different blog post. I mean different different.

This is a too-much-of-information-post.

This morning, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah. So these are the people I spent my day with:

After being served lousily (what's lousier, we paid for their lousy service...) at a lousy restaurant (catogorized as lousy due to lousy service), we watched Rapunzel and I stared into the screen and admired the blondie's hair for almost two hours. What's her name again... Oh yes Rapunzel. Don't ever let me see her again lest I start to get obsessed and you know.... If you happened to read the previous post. If you happen to.

Oh great. There she is. Now I want to. Gaaaaaaahh.

After two hours of admiration, I parted with the three above and joined my younger sister. Then I got disappointed of her action in order to not disappoint her friend HAHAHAHA joking. I got free drinks I meant. Who doesn't love free drinks I ask you? (Exception: Free drinks but no stamps because it is a tall one not a grande one) (The answer is me by the way.) (Aiyo joking larrr.)

Lala.

As today is Wednesday (pretend pretend pretend) Baskin Robins' promotion is on. Wear anything pink and you get two scoops for the price of one. Surprisingly I have NOTHING pink on me. Not even my shoes. Nor my bag. Blah. Oh have I mentioned that I wore blue today? Yeah now I have. Told you today is different. So back to the story. I have nothing pink BUT my clever sister is wearing pink! With a green bag. Which Baskin Robins considered pink and it looks like this:

So next time you wear a pair of white shoes and you paste a pink sticker on it on a Wednesday and Baskin Robins will give you the green light.

And here's another part of my different day (night):

Yes laugh if you must. I am confessing that I played Monopoly with my younger sister until tomorrow (Today is Wednesday). Which is the cause of the delay of this post and the whole pretend that today is still today thing.

And and and I finally bought the lovely jacket! Oh yeah. One down, two more to go. God bless me.

Yeah too much of information divulged.

Can anybody find me somebodything to

2010-11-30T16:30:00.010+08:00

................Kill.

I don't care who's reading this larr I'll just write out whatever I have to say. This is a form of shouting out curse phrases and vulgarities but only in this case I am not using my vocal cords because I fear that someone might use a pair of stupid idiotic scissors to cut my vocal cords and let me bleed to death. I don't care larr if you say you can use your bloody knife to chop off my ten stupid typing fingers away at least I know you cannot make use of a pair of scissors to do so. And what next, gel up my remaining fingerless palm so that my blood won't dirty your place?

Bloody hell.

(Mummy, I BEG you not to read this post.)

From today onwards until Idontknowyoutellmeuhhforeverandeverandeverandever I have EVERY. SINGLE. RIGHT. to get emotional and cast out vulgarities from my mouth, in this case fingers. Don't ask me why should I get so upset over one minuscule matter HELL-O I ASK YOU WHY WOULDN'T YOU? It's not yours what why should you bother you did not wash it everyday and spend twenty minutes drying it manually (hair-dryer-free, can this get any worse) and apply stupid products after that to maintain it so that it can grow longer without much damage and risk of damage mah! You did not not-cut it for TEN BLOODY MONTHS so that it will grow and eventually complement the rest because one _____ human being did a mistake a year ago by misjudging the length and caused the retardation which affected your daily life even until NOW.

Well my answer is directly the opposite.

In fact now is so much more worse I can cast out bloody words and even kill something. Whenever I see a lizard I feel like smashing it using the newspaper. Whenever I see a big fat hairy rat I feel like staking it and had it barbecued. Whenever I see something which is less retarded than me I feel like avadakedavra-ing it. Which neither one of the above have appeared in the view of my eyes since I had decided that killing is the best medicine. So back off before you feel sorry for your lizard/rat/something less retarded.

Now when I see a chair I think she deserves better life than me. *Cries and whines like never before*

Oh wait did I forget to mention that the mirror on the wall told me that I am the most retarded THING in this whole wide world right now? YEAH THIS MEANS I FEEL LIKE KILLING EVERYTHING.

And I swear I will never ever go back to that place again UNLESS THEY KIDNAPPED WALLIE. Which is impossible because I would consider using Wallie as my killing machine so they will die already even before they succeed in kidnapping her. So yeah I will never ever go back to that monsteric place. EVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR.

1656 Will decide whether or not this post should be deleted. Your opinion is always desired and required. Til then. I'm gonna find something to. You know.

These are the things that I say when somebody touches my hair without my permission. From now on only these few are allowed to do so: mummy, Jeremy, Mandy YJ SM (awesome buns and absolutely NO DAMAGE), my aunt and uncle (if they happen to read this), people whom I pay to touch my hair. Otherwise shall be declared as idiots and morons. Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't.

The one person who will never fail to brighten up my day.

2010-11-26T00:25:00.008+08:00

This person smiles almost all the time.

This person wears black all the time.

This person likes singing but never sings to me. BUT this person will. Someday :D

This person dislikes Justin Bieber. A WHOLE LOT. (Justin Bieber copied this person's hairstyle)

This person laughs at stupid things I say. (Which is very often because I always say stupid things so, haha.)

This person can do many things at a time. Eg.: Watch TV, SMS, breathe, blink, sit etc.

This person, although VERY cute, always denies the fact that this person is cute. So humble.

This person can get obsessed over something but still never forget about his priority. Hoho.

This person says diaries/planners are only for girls. (Sexist)

This person will feel sad and offended if this person doesn't get your joke. (I joke a lot here, just so you know.)

This person loves to joke by the way.

This person will die without ~~music~~ me ~~music~~ me ~~music~~ me ~~MUSIC~~ ME ~~MUSIC~~ ME. ~~Larr larr.~~ Nyahahahahahaha.

This person is always stalked by me unknowingly WHOOPS.

This person is, also, always stalked by me knowingly heheh heheh.

[Edit]: This person, by the way, loves to stalk me. Hah!

This person handles boredom well. (Dislikes to sleep)

This person is always there. Always.

This person forgives despite the awful things you have done.

This person is the most optimistic person I've ever known.

This person can say every good thing which is not possible to be even thought of at very bad times and this person believes that good things happen.

Hence never failed to cheer me up and always makes me happy.

And this person will always, always remain his position in my heart, as how it is today. Always and forever.

Turn it up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

2010-11-23T19:39:00.008+08:00

Stupid song stuck in my head like it's literally glued inside and out of my brain and all over my head since forever which makes it so unbearable because it's only a memory of a short phrase of a song which I've only heard once who in the world will know how bugging and irritating this song can be. Thanks to something so clever called Google it made the condition less depressing. So clever it can even tell the name of (a short phrase of) the song that is playing inside my head even when I do not even know how the whole song goes like or what is the name of the stupid song.

Wait I'm not here to talk about the stupid song nor the clever Google so back to me.

I shall hereby present you a summary of my (unpredictable, super unpredictable, super mega unpredictable) week:

I am a student > I temporarily signed off that job > (I feel like) I am no longer a student, got myself employed UNEXPECTEDLY (emphasising emphasising) it's pretty much like it fell from the sky right in front of me when I just am about to move a step forward > Yeah I am moving forward thank you very much for realizing >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Soooooo forward you cannot even see me now bwahahahahaha okay back to me (summary) >Did awesome thing had awesome time > Went back to McHeaven and lived my McLife > Realized working isn't fun any more it sucks to the max > Felt like quitting > Considered quitting > Consideration distracted by oncoming plans in life and eventually faded away > Held meeting > Awful > Very awful > Very awfully awful I NEED TO WAKE UP > Guess what, back to work again......... (WHAT!??) > Ate a lot by the way (My way of saying gained 9852 kilograms in a week) >> Bought second pair of shoes in the week my oh my > WATCHED AWESOME AWESOME HARRY POTTER SO AWESOME I WILL WATCH IT AGAIN (tomorrow wheeeeeeeeeeee) > Back to work. Grr > Realized that I'm sick and tired of working (again) > Had serious consideration about quitting, not that I wasn't serious the first time > Tried something new > Handled counter > Drive-Thru sucks > I want the fun out there > Short of sixty cents but never mind it cannot even buy you an ice-cream haha haha grr I'm a failure > My life is basically about work > No Grey's for three miserable days, made me even motivated to quit my job > I need my life back > Decided to quit my job but don't know how to tell the manager without getting killed > Didn't turn up for my job on Monday! Hah! > (That is what it seemed like during the first hour of my shift, I got back to my work because I decided that the so called "St. John activity" is stupid and time-wasting) > So yes I did not 'didn't turn up for my job on Monday' > Felt peaceful to be back in McHeaven > Shocked and surprised by the news that Monday will be our last working day, which we received on Monday by the way > God is so awesome He solved everything for me now I don't have to die > Worked happily (hahahahaha such description) > Had awesome lunch > Worked reluctantly, yet happily > Time passes > Time passes > Time passes > Time comes, I AM FREEEEEEEEEEE!! :D

TAADAA a happy ending of my week! :D With no salary.

This is really, an update.

Some pictures to minimize disappointment.

2010-11-20T10:04:00.005+08:00

Everyday (two days so far) I wake up to this:

And this:

They can wait. They really can wait.

It feels so right to put this here.

And oh, if you have noticed my tagboard, you'll see this:

Well if you hadn't now you have. Now, I am about to present a photo of a you-know-who who hates working.

...

You-know-who hates working.

By the way, I snapped those pictures illegally during work (they will sue me and I will go to jail, no kidding) (I also may even get killed by my boss) so here's my story: My name is not Ngoh Jess Minn and I don't work in Teluk Chempedak's McDonald's. And I don't hate working. In fact I love my job. Yes my name is Nestle and I am a mango-flavoured yoghurt and my job is to explore the inner parts of humans. Told you I love my job.

Got time?

2010-11-17T19:06:00.007+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA eh you know what I am once again a working lady hahahaha this is so fun hahahaha at least I thought it would be at first when the manager saw Mandy and I at McD's yesterday hahahaha very funny lorr I tell you we (JessMinn Mandy Chyna Josh) called up the manager so many times in the past few weeks and they kept saying that they will call if they need casual labours kept saying the same thing I even went there twice or thrice (too many times I've lost count) to ask them personally about the job they just gave me the go away we don't need you here look (very polite, though) which of course hinted me that they won't employ any part timers during this holiday so back to the story I somehow got employed yesterday and TAADAA I'm a working Jess Minn it's gonna be so much fun I thought hahahaha such a kid but then you know what today I discovered the ugliest truth that exists in this living world:

I dislike working.

Gah I sound so different from last time right yeah yeah I get that a lot too (from myself haha thank you very much) and guess what I can't even tell why do I sound so different!

Maybe it's because working means less sleep. (Working takes up a third of my day and I usually sleep two third the time in my day so yeah you do the math.)

Or maybe it's because working means no time for studies. (Laugh out loud will you)

Or or maybe it's because working means no time for annoying anyone else in this world in any form. (Lady luck smiles on Danny)

Or maybe it's because working means no time for daydreaming about being the first woman to ever operate a living human on the moon. (There are no boundaries for daydreaming, really.)

Or maybe it's because working means no communication to the world. (Except of course fussy bossy troublesy customers.) (I know it's troublesome but if I write that it won't rhyme)

Or maybe it's because working means no time for Grey's Anatomy. Bloody Monday. Criminal Minds. Etcetera etcetera etcetera. (Sheet. Sheet you ~~bloody~~ work.) (I did not just said that.)

Or maybe it's because working, in short, means no computer, no phone, no TV, no movie (except for Harry Potter nyahahahahahaha I bought the tickets last Sunday please don't envy me or attempt to steal my ticket your time will come okay I assure you, your time will come), no piano, no sleep, no books (I'm choosing books over working what has the world done to me....), no drinking water any time you want, no eating rice (WHAT HAS THE WORLD DONE TO ME!!!), no procrastinating (this is just unacceptable), no freedome of speech of action of replying messages of eating any (edible) thing any time you want. Just. No. Freedom.

Maybe working means lifeless.

Now to come to think of it, maybe it's because of all of the above.

A very short update on my current status.

2010-11-15T21:44:00.002+08:00

I'm a dead meat..... I am such a piece of dead meat.

Updated 10:10pm - Wah suddenly all the F come out from both sides at the same time can I join hey I don't get to use the F how unfair.

Steps to take to cure depression.

2010-11-12T12:54:00.010+08:00

Method 1 (Highly recommended)

1. Get extremely excited about something. Anything at all. The higher the impossibility for that thing to happen, the higher the chance for this method to work.

2. Tell the whole world that you are happy and excited and elated over that particular (highly impossible to happen) thing and you are to treat them for breakfast/lunch/dinner/all of the mentioned because you worked in McDonald's two months back and you did not know what to do with the money but finally decided that sharing the joy (joy=money/excitement for the highly impossible thing to happen) would be the best.

3. Pick a restaurant with the best seafood spaghetti you have ever known.

4. Plan for the breakfast/lunch/dinner. Invite the whole world for that breakfast/lunch/dinner. The more the merrier.

5. Get even more excited over this breakfast/lunch/dinner! :D

6. Then this is the part where alas, you realize that the something you got so excited and hyped up earlier before will never. Ever. Happen. In reality.

7. Hence the begin of this short journey towards depression.

8. Reached. Depressed.

9. Then this is the part where you get even more depressed upon realizing your excitement towards the breakfast/lunch/dinner (in the restaurant with best seafood spaghetti....triple depressed) was all in vain and there wasn't any joy to share in the very first place.

10. Try your very very very best to hide the depressed and disappointed look out of your face.

(The harder you try, the more obvious it is.)

11. The whole world realizes that you are depressed in spite of the face you give to every single one of them. The whole world holds a secret meeting.

12. Now the whole world decided that you are too depressed to share your joy (joy=money) hence they humbly reach out to you, attesting that they would share their joy (joy=money...uh food I mean) with you.

13. Repeat step 3-5 and enjoy the best seafood spaghetti (and everything else...pictures soon) in town without even having to look at the bill. Depression cured.

Updated: 14112010 - Now is soon.

This is a picture of a very shitty cake which fooled me by its look which was initially an effort to cheer me up but failed miserably. It's from Sherwood by the way.

And this is a picture of a very big platter of awesome awesome seafood spaghetti. I finished everything minus the muscles and whatever thing clamped with shell they taste so raw larr. Good times aye, good times.

This is a picture of everything else which of course was all finished by me in the end.

Now this is a picture of the effect of my overpowering depression and Ngoh Jess Shynn playing the iPod like a little kid.

P.S. This works only for normal people... It did not work for me as I am not categorized as one of them but I assure every single normal one of you out there, this method will work.

Method 2 (Highly recommended)

1. When the schools demands for a decision from you of what are the subjects you desire to take, decide that Accounts will of course be included in that list.

2. When the year end examination is over for every one else (who decided that Accounts is a blehhhh-subject) but you, get depressed because they won their victory a day earlier than you.

3. Hold a frying pan in your hand all the time just in case Danny (who decided that Accounts is a blehhhh-subject) (Bleh you Danny, blehhhhhhhhhhh you) decided to hit you with his.

4. Write some stupid stuffs on your blog. Admire your own blog.

5. Go to sleep. (With frying pan still in hand)

6. Never wake up. Depression cured.

Method 3 (Highly recommended) (Worked for me despite my abnormality.) (Seriously.)

Talk to Jeremy.

Method 4 (Highly recommended as it is simple and easy and doesn't require much work)

Sing this song:

With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm,
Smile at the storm,
Smile at the strom,
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
As we go sailing home.

And if it hasn't worked yet, continue singing:

Sailing, saling home,
Sailing, sailing home,
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
As we go sailing home.

And if it still does not cure your depression, keep singing this song. Play it in your mind for the next 24 hours. Or you could take out a piece of paper and do something like this:

Now that I have done this I would like to correct my statement above. Don't take out a piece of paper. Just click the 'Start' button on the bottom left corner of the screen and search for 'Paint' and click 'Paint' and draw all you want.

Depression cured! :)

And my, may I say that if you are still dealing with depression issues after following all of the methods above then here comes the best solution which is Method 5.....

Stop reading this depressing blog.

Freeeeeeeeedom is hereeeeeeeeeeeee

2010-11-11T15:42:00.007+08:00

Shouts annoying Danny as he hops around like he just realized he's actually a kangaroo earlier today.

While I, on the other hand, is crawling into depression again...

*Danny hops towards me with a frying pan in his hands and thwacks it onto my head (Ouch Danny, ouch) and roars at me GO STUDY YOUR STUPID ACCOUNTS LARR as he laughs evilly, indicating that he rocks more than I do because he's Merdeka day is one day earlier than mine.

Just a short one. Just a short one.

Today, I decided to reveal a truth here as after a long period of pondering, I decided that this truth will bring no harm to anyone at all so here is what I decided to say:

It's a misintepretion.

You know how I always tell myself oh how I love Science Science rocks Science is awesome Science is love Science is everything let Science be my life take me away oh Science how I love thee. Stuffs like these. You know?

Apparently the truth is I DO NOT love Science at all. I despise Chemistry and Biology and every time I am to study either one of the subjects, I will tell myself to go and sleep and not waste time on useless, boring, torturing and full-with-alien-words subjects. And my dislike towards these subjects can be clearly seen by my almighty results all year long. And then I won't even care about how bad I did because really, I just don't care.

I discovered that Physics was the one which gave me the misconcept of my love towards Science ever since forever (and ever and ever and ever) and it is Physics that makes 'Science' so awesome so yeah my true love is actually Physics and I could never understand people who hates Physics.

See, a short one.

P.S. My name is Ngoh Jess Minn and my ambition is to be a surgeon! :) :)

P.P.S. Honestly and seriously.